Sexplanations:)

[mrdreamjeans]

"Isn't it better to feel something intensely even if you're wounded in the process?"

I'm pondering this question from a novel I just finished reading. It's talking about relationships, but I suppose it could apply to friendships and even to specific fetishes and sex acts.

I know emotional wounding is hard for me to take when it happens; but I think I would rather risk that, then feel nothing at all.

I am desiring a sexplanation:)

Comments

[mountdfw.livejournal.com]

I posted something in this vein, ages ago.. Clickie goodness! (http://www.livejournal.com/users/mountdfw/2003/06/08/) I agree, it's better to have felt something, even if it ended in pain. (not to mention, sometimes the pain IS the reward...)

There are several men in my past, with whom I have shared something intense and beautiful, and who I have subsequently lost.
Chris, and long days spent without words, because we knew each other so well they weren't necessary. Chris, who spoke his last word to me when he found out I am gay, 12 years ago.
Jim, whose body responded like a Stradivarius, and I played just for the joy of the playing. And crying in my car, for most of a four hour drive, because he found someone to be happy with, and it wasn't me.
My ex, Mike, mentioned in that link up there, in all his Jekyll & Hyde glory.
George, who gave me one perfect summer of sun and sweat and sex and LOVE.. and parting because, like a good father would, he had to choose his infant daughter and his love & duty to her, over the dream of us.
Pain is easy to find in this world. Joy is rarer than diamonds, and more to be treasured.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

I read your post from 2003. Those of us on the ouside of a couple's relationship seldom get to see the insiders point of view. I've never experienced the kind of violence or violation you describe and have not done those things to someone else. I've always used emotional and sexual power in a loving way. However, I'm not naive; I know these experiences are a very real part of some couples' existence.Your comment to my post is a reminder that I can learn when I don't isolate myself from other peoples' experiences. Blinders off.......Thanks for sharing your story.

[mountdfw.livejournal.com]

OTOH, there have been times when I willingly allowed myself to be degraded and used..

I vividly recall an instance where I was playing with a gent in public. As he finished with me, a different man stepped up, asked permission from the other guy, and proceeded to use me for his own gratification. It started a chain, and I honestly couldn't say whether it was 7 or 8 men involved... but they all used me as nothing more than a warm place to put a hard cock. When the last man finished, leaving me alone, sticky with the semen squirted on my body, I stood on shaking legs and started to leave.. but on the way out, I ran into another man, a giant of a guy.. No words were spoken, he just pulled me close and started fondling my butt.. and when he felt it already greased & loose, he just picked me up so my toes were barely brushing the ground, pinning me against his chest, trapping my arms, and rammed himself home. He was huge, and even after the prior play it was painful. He held me like a doll, pulling & pushing me on himself, till I heard his breath catch, and he pulled out to spray me from the nape of my neck to the small of my back. Then he set me on my feet and left, with never a word spoken.

At no point during the evening (after the first man) was I ever asked for my opinion. At no point did anyone touch my cock, or give any thought to my gratification. It left me feeling used, dirty, defiled, sore... and so very satiated. Willingly giving up control is an amazingly erotic, gratifying thing..