Friends in Deed, are Friends Indeed....

[mrdreamjeans]

I have a handsome young cub friend who is undergoing exploratory surgery today (Friday) for several growths around his liver. They are increasing in size and number. When I saw him a couple of days ago, I could see the fear in his eyes as he told me the news of the surgery, understandably so. I could tell he wanted reassurance that everything would be okay... needed kindness and hugs and words of love and support beyond those provided by his loyal and equally handsome partner.

My friend also could use the kind of friend who will call the hospital to check up on him; the kind of friend who will listen to the details of the procedure with patience and understanding; the kind of friend that can be counted on in a crisis. I intend to be that kind of friend.

I often tell my parents, siblings, niece and nephews that I am lucky. I have two families. The one I was born into and my "family of choice" - my friends. Many times, this second family brings me greater joy and better understanding than my blood relatives, though I must say I'm pretty fortunate in both cases. I can count on both families.

Though my friend has a partner, he is estranged from his nuclear family. I think he is seeking certainty that his friends will be there in his hour of need. Isn't that what we all hope for? The knowledge that the friends we have made in the special community we are part of cares for us and won't leave us alone in our hour, weeks, months or years of need?

I'm curious.... Do you consider yourself that kind of friend? Would you be there in a friend's hour of need? Have you been there in a friend's hour of need? I'd like to hear your stories.

Comments

I would be that kind of friend

[ciddyguy.livejournal.com]

I'm now at that stage in my life where I can do just that, should the situation ever arise.

I am very fortunate that my long time straight friends were there and didn't condem me when I came out, nearly 3 years ago. Doug once said to me in January at a baby shower for our mutual friend that he's glad I'm gay and that it's where I was obviously meant to be. That's a true friend in my mind.

Having someone come and take care of you when you are sick (and single) is a nice thing to have. We all should be fortunate that we have any close ties with our blood families, but also should be fortunate of our family of choice.

Armistead put it well in the Tales of the City series that when you do not have a blood family to rely on, or nearby, you make your family, where ever you are, be it the tenants of your apartment house, such was the case in Tales.

Anyway, I'm glad you are going to be that kind of friend to this man with the cancer. It's those kinds of traits I treasure in a person.

Re: I would be that kind of friend

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

I treasure those traits too. It is why I was pondering my friend's challenge. It is good to know you are that kind of friend, John. I haven't made the leap to the growths being cancerous...let's take a deep breath and believe that they are benign. I know that is the source of the fear behind my friend's eyes. Let's hope for the best result....

"Tales of the City" and its sequels were seminal books in my growth and journey to acceptance. I so wanted to move to SF and live with the family created in that apartment building. I bet many of us identified with Michael Mouse Tolliver and his circle of friends. Who did you most identify with in that series of books?

Thanks for commenting!

Re: I would be that kind of friend

[ciddyguy.livejournal.com]

Micheal "Mouse" Tolliver, who else! After all, I'm as "queer as a three dollar bill", to quote him. :-)

I saw the original Tales on Ch. 9 back when it originaly aired in January 1994, taped it and have veiwed the tapes over, and over, and over until I've nearly worn them out. :-) I now have Tales and More Tales on DVD.

I still would like to go and at least visit SF myself, if not end up living there, but I think I need to let God make the decisions for where he thinks I should go in my journey through life.

Re: I would be that kind of friend

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Ah - Youth! I am referring to "Tales of the City" and its sequels as books. You are referring to them as movies and DVDs:) Yet, we both took from the works what we needed to hear.

Re: I would be that kind of friend

[ciddyguy.livejournal.com]

I forgot to mention that I have read all of his works in book form and in some ways do prefere them over the movies.

BTW, I'm not that young anymore. I'm 39. :-)