Only Human

[mrdreamjeans]

This is the third of four song lyrics that I wrote some years ago that I decided to post. "Only Human" was written in response to an incident that happened to one of my friends on the road in "Phantom". This person was hurt by a partner cheating on him. (It was not defined as an open relationship.) I watched as his "friends" dismissed his pain and made excuses for the behavior of the partner. I was bewildered by this response. Enjoy.....


Only Human

Not like that, I tell myself,
Damn! You fooled me once again.
I trusted you to tell the truth,
But you were just a charlatan.

I can’t believe it happened.
Can’t suppress the thoughts,
Unbidden and unwelcome,
Raw and real and tossed.

Care about your feelings?
Now it’s more about my pain;
It twists and turns inside of me,
Unruly and untamed.

I was always on the outside,
On the outside looking in,
But you made me feel the magic once,
For once I thought I’d win.

A simple game of chance for you,
A stunning sleight of hand.
A puff of smoke, you disappeared,
Rogue lover in demand.

Only human.........
That’s what friends will say.
Only human...
It hurts; it goes away.

They use it so you won’t complain,
So you’ll gently close that door.
They sympathize, you minimize,
Wouldn’t want to bore.

Only human....
Nothing’s as it seemed
Only human.....
What exactly does that mean?

I guess I’ll never ever know
Who I really am.
I lost my way in Neverland,
Betrayed by Peter Pan.

Neil Badders Copyright 8-1-1996

Comments

[abearius.livejournal.com]

I like th sopng. The last stanza is amazing! I *heart* you Mr. Dreamjeans. :-)

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Thanks Jeff! I found a folder of songs which I had forgotten about. It was transferred from a laptop which bit the dust years ago. It's been interesting to see these attempts after so many years and to see what I was pondering in the early '90s. I don't usually live in such a dark place. I plan to post one more offering tomorrow, but will hold off after that. I don't write to generate comments, but it is telling, I think, that I got multiple comments on the bacon cheeseburger on a toasted Krispy Kreme donut, but little feedback on something that means so much to me. I look forward to seeing you in the month I'm in San Fran. HUGS!

[biggaloot.livejournal.com]

Bewildered? It seems pretty commonplace to me. Actually, it even seems mild; often it is accompanied by insensitive sarcasm as well. And it is displayed a lot more frequently than the requisite kindness that should be - even if such kindness has been given to them by the same person they now dismiss.

It recently happened to me, and from someone I least expected to act that way. I've known him for years. This person has received the benefit of my support after posting almost suicidal ramblings here on LJ, which got my immediate attention and support. But when I needed even just a tiny amount of support, it was referred to as "the pitty[sic] party". Go figure.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry your friend was insensitive. I don't always have the right words to make someone feel better, but I do my best to listen and be supportive. I've had people in my life who were fun to be around and who amused me, but when they were critical or smartasses when I needed hugs ... when support was so badly needed, I realized that they weren't really friends...just people with a talent to amuse:) I don't allow toxic friends any more. Hugs to you!

lonesome of the road ~ Liz Swados

[bewitched1nva.livejournal.com]

Saw your LJ and thought this may be the kind of person I would like to know. We have a lot (kinda) in common. Adding you as a friend ..Drop me a line and lets talk

Re: lonesome of the road ~ Liz Swados

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Welcome to reading my journal. I appreciate it when people take time to do so out of their busy llives. I'll check out your journal and be in touch. Thanks!

great

[bewitched1nva.livejournal.com]

At least you have a friend to show you around when in DC and Baltimore. Love "EVITA". I hope your having fun and I can help keep you amused through LJ and emails while you are on tour. You sound like someone I could at least enjoy as a friend..Who knows :D!!

[althrman.livejournal.com]

Rogue lover in demand…..


Might have to steal that line….

Had to chuckle just a bit at the end. In context with all that wacko wierdo Jackson, Neverland…will never hold the same solice too me, but I won’t hold that against you for using it for your song. Interesting mood you must have been in when you wrote this one. Not sure I could ever write when I am in a vulnerable place. But these are certainly an interesting and telling side of you.

So…how goes the tour again?

spell check...

[althrman.livejournal.com]

SOLACE....ga duh

A Long and Winding Road

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

We geared up after the month off, had a week on and then another week off. Hard to keep momentum, but the show is really hitting on all cylinders these days. Particularly with a rested cast.

The reason so many of the song lyrics were written about a dozen years ago, is that previousily, I wouldn't write or reflect much unless I was unhappy. Most of my strongest creativity seemed to come in periods of crisis. AND from 1986-1994 my life was often in an uproar. I often shot myself in the foot when I was about to be most successful. Since then, I've come to believe that through hard work, I deserve success. Life lesson.....

I'm finally learning to write when I am happy and things are going well. It's "been a long and winding road", but worth it:) Hugs!