Reminder to Self!

[mrdreamjeans]

I just broke one of my own rules and got involved in a bit of online drama. I know that my friends are not perfect, that it is not reasonable to expect everyone to like each other, nor is it reasonable to think that everyone will like me. But I have a hard time when people use this site to spread their drama around and attack someone for whom I care ... particularly when it is is over silly, petty chat room stuff.

I've been very positive about how I use my journal. In most cases I've "friended" folks who have friended me or I've asked permission to "friend" someone if I like what they have to say or how they write. Many of the men and women on my friends list or who have friended me don't often post. But I look forward to when they do and really appreciate it when folks take time to read my scribblings.

There are times when I silently disagree with posts ... about politics, religious attitudes or how someone handled a situation; sometimes I comment, at times I skip over the parts I don't like, but I continue to include them on my list. I figure they have something to say and I'm never too old to learn or be enlightened. I am not always right, though usually decisive ... even if I'm wrong, I'm decisively wrong.

However, I took someone off my friends list today. The trigger was a disagreement he was having on another website which he brought over to LiveJournal. I didn't take him off the list because he was being critical of someone close to me, but because I simply thought.... this person has never responded to anything I write, his posts are often bitter or negative, mostly unsubstantive and when he attempts humor, it usually passes me by.

This person, who I do not personally know, is entirely entitled to his opinions and to write whatever he wants, but you know what... I don't have to read it. This may seem foolish to some of my friends on LJ ... for me to take the time to agonize over de-friending someone, but it's the first time I've done it. However, it's necessary. I want more time to focus on the people from whom I learn ... for whom I have affection and respect. AND - let me emphasize, this does not mean that I don't want to hear about tough or sad times, or about health or family issues.... I do, but it's called developing a dialogue and coming from a place of authenticity.

SO - Note to self.... SELF! Remember to use livejournal to chronicle your life ... and not as a substitute for life! Use it to enrich, not demean. Allow everyone who you choose to call "friend" to fully be themselves, but be selective/objective so that you have the time to read and respond to those who bring you joy, who educate, who entertain, who are genuine, who you would be happy to call friend in real life not just the virtual medium .... to focus on those who honor and admire the power of the written word! Remember, MrDreamJeans, to keep the drama onstage and off-site:)!

Comments

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Hey! Now, you've gone too far! When I was in college I was picked for "Up with People" and my old room mate is a former member and a long time member of their board. Be careful where you tread..you're grazin on hallowed ground Kow! LOL!