Things to be celebrated...

[mrdreamjeans]

My entire West Coast trip is full of things to be cherished and celebrated. I've made significant personal discoveries, decided to burst out of my self-woven cocoon and have laid some ghosts to rest.

I have been going through a five-year period where many things in my life didn't quite jell. I made decisive moves, carefully thought-out plans, and embraced calculated risk, but somehow, I was just treading water. I wasn't happy, but knew that the work to be done was internal, not external. You can never rely on anyone else to make you happy.

Among the discoveries or reminders:

* 20-year friendships can remain meaningful and endure.
* I don't have to make perfect decisions.
* You can be rewarded by spontaneity.
* There are perfect days in life, sometimes perfect weeks.
* You can go through times when the climate for friendship is fertile. Most of my inner circle of friends have been in my life for decades. This week I opened myself up, made myself emotionally available to new people. There is a distinct possibility that real friendships will evolve from taking this risk.
* There is room for romance and courting. Every date does not have to end up in bed to be successful. And I don't have to defend against rumors to the contrary.
* I can overcome my aversion to parties and avoid a retreat to a corner where I can safely take on the role of observer. I did not hide behind a camera either. Milestones for me....
* Exes as friends can be a reality and the reality is one to be cherished.
* To deny yourself affection is damaging. It's misguided; the desire to feel sexy, attractive, appreciated and loved isn't a sign of weakness, it's the very breath of life.
* All of us should live our lives to make a difference. Thanks to MuffinMan for providing the most fully developed example of that philosophy I've seen in years.
* I will continue to say exactly what I mean.
* I can bond with a pit bull named Tuck:)
* One day I want a wedding of my own. I'm tired of just singing at them.
* It's humbling to be the first person that a handsome 21-year old young man came out to here in Seattle; delightful to be his mentor in theatre and as a Gay man. I am proud to be his "big gay uncle"... To have earned his trust and respect is a wonderful feeling.

In closing... Yesterday as I was walking to the LJ picnic, I was passing a house; a car was backing out of the driveway containing a matched-set of bearish men in a station wagon. I patiently waited for them to exit their garage and driveway. As they pulled away, they both sent me a smile and a wave of thanks.

It was just a brief moment of ordinariness for them; but for me, the random stranger passing by, it tugged at my heart. In an instant, I knew they were a happy couple headed out for a lovely sunny afternoon, perhaps just to accomplish simple errands. I celebrate the unexpected glimpse into their lives...its cozy matter-of-factness. Two men in love, just living their lives...

If you're fortunate to be part of a couple and sometimes take the small moments for granted, just know there are men out there who appreciate your commitment... who honor and celebrate the blessings in being well and truly loved.

Comments

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Thanks Curtis! I'm beaming here in rainy Seattle! I hope to live up to the good impressions:)