Deja Moo ... A Distraction ...
Jan. 20th, 2008 08:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mrdreamjeansJust for the Pun of it on a cold Sunday morning in Texas:
1) An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
2) Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
3) Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
4) Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
5) A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says , "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
6) A dyslexic man walks into a bra ...
7) Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
8) I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
9) I went to a seafood disco last week ... and pulled a mussel.
10) A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
11) "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home." Doc answers, "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." The patient says, "Is it common?" Doc replies, "It's Not Unusual."
12) Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
13) What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
14) Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
NOT ENOUGH? O.K., THERE'S MORE: :)
15) Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
16) Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
17) A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
18) Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron."The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "I'm positive."
1) An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
2) Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
3) Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
4) Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
5) A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says , "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
6) A dyslexic man walks into a bra ...
7) Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
8) I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
9) I went to a seafood disco last week ... and pulled a mussel.
10) A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
11) "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home." Doc answers, "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." The patient says, "Is it common?" Doc replies, "It's Not Unusual."
12) Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
13) What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
14) Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
NOT ENOUGH? O.K., THERE'S MORE: :)
15) Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
16) Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
17) A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
18) Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron."The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "I'm positive."
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no subject
Date: 2008-01-20 03:22 pm (UTC)A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?"
The next day, Celine Dion walks into the same bar, the bartender asks "Hey, weren't you here yesterday?"
Q. If there are two flies in a kitchen, which one is the cowboy?
A.The one on the range.
Q. How can you tell if a farmer is gay?
A. The way he says John Deere. (If in doubt on this joke, say it out loud)
Did you hear about the man with five penises? His pants fit him like a glove.
and two Silly Sally jokes to end this joke fest.
Silly Sally was walking through a pasture when she saw a tiny flower on the top of a cow-pie. Silly Sally laughed and laughed, cuz she knew the flower didn't do it.
Silly Sally was walking through the park when a large man jumped her and tore off all of her clothes. Silly Sally laughed and laughed cuz she knew the clothes wouldn't fit him
no subject
Date: 2008-01-20 04:17 pm (UTC)Thanks, but I forgot to add the joke told by the nurse.
Date: 2008-01-20 04:19 pm (UTC)Hose A. and Hose B.
Re: Thanks, but I forgot to add the joke told by the nurse.
Date: 2008-01-20 04:24 pm (UTC)HUGS!