How can someone with double vision be so blind?

[mrdreamjeans]

How can someone with double vision be so blind?

My father has recovered. It seems the source of his problems may be from adjusting to his new vision after cataract surgery or perhaps an inner ear problem. I have worried about him nonstop for five days. Now he is well enough to be a pain in the ass again and I am definitely considering homicide:) (Or is that homo-cide:)? LOL!

He has been unable to connect any dots for days, mixing up words, names, medications, arguing as we patiently explain his confusion, being verbally abusive when my mother and I try to make sense out of his babble. It is compounded by constant repetition of questions, constant instruction for tasks we perform for him every day... I liked him better when he was dizzy and had double-vision. He is blind to the impression he is making...according to him, he's totally misunderstood and no one is listening.

Every time I leave the room, I am asked where I'm going. This is not a large home. There are very few destinations. Mom and I fear the beginning of Alzheimer's, but I think with my father it is more about feeling needed and to be the center of attention, albeit negative attention.

Dad just talks to talk. I can't explain how infuriating this is, but I'm afraid it takes a better man than I am today to find the patience to deal with him. If you say anything to him, the first word out of his mouth is no; if you disagree, you're not listening; if you make a gentle correction, you're too critical. I'm fed up...

I can't understand why I care so much about what happens to my Dad.

Example 1: Mom has severe pain in her knee while I am driving them to the eye doctor. Dad - "Hey, look at that short bed Chevy Truck...I've never liked.... Me - "Dad, no one cares about short bed Chevy trucks right now, Mom is in pain." Dad (whining) - "No one ever lets me finish what I'm going to say." Me - "Dad, your wife is in incredible pain, trust me, I do not give a flyin flip what you have to say right now about Chevy pickups... or about anything else, till I figure out how to help Mom."

Example 2: Dad looks at a waitress at dinner tonight and says to my mom, "since you've lost weight you look as good as she does.... except your fat isn't as solid." I thought my mom was going to hit him up side the head. I was rootin' for her to do so.

Example 3: "Jeez, Neil. There sure are a lot of good-looking young waitresses here. Check that one out." Me - "Dad, you check them out. Where are the waiters?" (I love to do that:)

Example 4: After calling doctors and insisting on Dad's being seen; after spending an entire holiday weekend cooking and responding to his every need.... "You know, Jeff is a good son." (This is my younger brother who was 500 miles away all weekend; who lives only 8 miles away and sees him only occasionally and the very same son who went hunting seven weekends in a row last year when I was moving my parents into their new home and didn't help at all.)

I realize that I am ranting, but I've got to process this somehow. Everything from his right-wing politics to his constantly smacking gum (in lieu of his pipe smoking which caused his stroke) is irritating me.

Many of my long time friends have never seen me angry; I am usually level-headed and very open to compromise, but this is difficult. When I'm around here, all of my general good nature and happiness is sucked right out of me.

I know, I know, I ought to be happy I have both parents alive. I am very aware of that fact. Ah, Hell! Maybe I'm just a cranky so and so.... please forgive for the rant....I take responsibility for my participation in this behavior. Oh well - it's just for the summer, right?

Comments

Why is it our parents know what buttons to push on us? Easy. They installed them :o)

[mncuddlecub.livejournal.com]

It sounds like part of the problem isn't that your Dad's being a jerk, but rather it's unlike him to be so, and it's that that's bothering you. I know my Grandfather has Alzheimer's, and I know the feeling of being around someone I know, and yet not know that person all at once, and how uncomforting it can be.

Or maye I'm reading into it too much, and you should make like Cher, smack him and say "snap out of it!"

Re: Why is it our parents know what buttons to push on us? Easy. They installed them :o)

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

"It sounds like part of the problem isn't that your Dad's being a jerk, but rather it's unlike him to be so, and it's that that's bothering you."

Thanks for the clarity, Keith... You are very correct. My Dad has always been someone I admired. Now I spend most of my time being embarrassed or angry that he is aging so dramatically...or covering up for his mistakes or forgetfulness. It is a difficult thing to witness.