Pressure from my own Expectations

[mrdreamjeans]

I wasn't as happy with the show last night, as I was with the Tuesday performance. The audience's enthusiasm was so palatable the first night; our level of energy and inspiration, so exciting, that I suppose nothing short of that would have met my expectations.

We have a flu bug making its rounds through the company. The score card for Wednesday night was one soprano and one tenor out, one female dance captain and three male dancers with next to no voice, but performing, and a male swing on for the tenor, but Jay's voice was gone too. Tempos were slower last night than usual, which affects performers when you are used to brisker ones. You really have to be on your toes. (I think Kevin slowed things down to accommodate local new orchestra members and to help with the clarity of the lyrics.)

With so many people under the weather, things sounded so different on stage. Harmonies and vocal balance were issues. With the swings on for sick people, it affected the choreography because of the different body types and sizes. Don't misunderstand - the show was excellent. But, with all of the hoopla of the press in attendance, there were a bunch of distractions I think most of us could have done without.

My friend Rhonda saw this second press night. Members of Actors Equity were offered two free tickets to the performance. Rhonda saw the 1998 tour. Her first remark to me was, "Why did I like this "Evita" so much more than I have previous ones? It was just so much more exciting." My friend is a voice teacher, has a terrific voice and she's no nonsense. I value her opinion.

What I got from Rhonda's comment was that what might feel odd or out-of-whack to me on stage, isn't necessarily read by the audience. I was reminded to just focus on doing my own show to the best of my ability. Having high expectations is a good thing, but not when they get in your way.

I walked three miles yesterday morning, strolling down La Cienega to the Beverly Center, across on Melrose Avenue to the Pacific Design Center and then back up to Santa Monica Blvd and to the hotel. The weather changed dramatically while I was exercising; rain moved in, so I stayed in my room till show time. While we were performing, the skies opened and the rain poured down. Not surprisingly, the humidity rose on stage; Sweat was flying everywhere (and not in a sexy way:) Suddenly being dressed in layers of costumes and wearing coats and ties, wasn't so much fun:)

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that people will recover quickly from their bugs, but this year's flu seems to linger, particularly affecting the voice. I've had a flu shot and use hand sanitizer frequently back stage, so I hope to stay healthy. I'll make that my expectation.

Comments

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

It is a difficult situation. Hopefully, our bouts with flu will clear up before we hit SF. (and yes, I do want a website done:)

[orange-groves.livejournal.com]

I remember all the strep throat that went around in the Theater Department when I was at Willamette. Ugh!!!

[gotmoof.livejournal.com]

Never underestimate the power of positive thinking, either.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

You're absolutely right. It's just hard to be positive when you're in the middle of the show and 29 people are doing their best ... with a bunch of them sick. But, you're right.

[gotmoof.livejournal.com]

Of course I'm right. I'm always right. :)

[daltxfurry.livejournal.com]

I can't tell you the number of shows I have been in with many of the cast sick. Admittedly this is community theater in my part....but you can tell the real troupers in the bunch. Even though they are sick as dogs they are out there giving it their all. I remember one show where I was literally holding my friend Judaline's hair back as she puked over the side of the loading dock...then we ran back inside, she popped some Altoids and we were onstage dancing......

Yeah...always feels odd to a performer if something is off onstage.....makes you feel off and the show off. However, the audience doesn't know unless they see it night after night. I always tell myself that this is a new audience, they haven't seen the show. Doesn't matter if I did good the night before, that audience isn't here tonight. :-)

Wish I could come and see it....dammit...why did Dallas have to cancel it??

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

You've summed up exactly how I felt last night. As to "troopers", I worked as a performer on Holland America Cruises in the 1980s. We were often in rough waters while sailing the NYC to Bermuda run in the Fall. One of the women in our group of six never did get her sea legs. (We couldn't take Dramamine or wear the patch as it dried you out too much to sing.) She'd belt her ballad, run off stage, throw up, come back on for the next number, run off stage, throw up....etc... You were a good friend to Judaline to be there holding her hand and hair. Hugs!

[daltxfurry.livejournal.com]

Hey....stage actors will do anything for a friend. Also, I wanted to make sure she didn't get any puke on her lovely frock.

I was in a production of GODSPELL and long story short, one of the women lost the diamond in her engagement ring onstage during a performance. Did she bawl and stop the show? Nope...she kept right on going...at the end of the night we were all looking on stage and the asst stage manager found it as he was sweeping the stage.

There is more to the story, but I will save that for coffee with you some day. It was a pretty intense show

[ciddyguy.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear the cast is feeling the symptoms of the flu, I hear a new strain has hit California and it's pretty bad - judging by several LJers that have had the flu recently.

As for expectations, I think when we are a true intrigal part of something we will feel it when things are off and in your case, having to deal with different actors whom are filling in can make for a different dynamic than you are used to but I also think we can sometimes be our own worst critics. :-)

Anyhoo, good luck on the tour and let us know of any changes to the intenerary, such as new cities added or dropped etc as the tour goes along.

Sorry I wasn't able to make it to Spokane, that is if I'd gotten my act together in time. :-)

Hugs from Seattle.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

The flu strain does seem to be a harsh one. I know my peers are suffering. You are right about being my own worst critic. I have high standards and expectations for my work, the work and the people in my life. My journey will always be one of seeking balance, acceptance and understanding in all areas of my life.

[ciddyguy.livejournal.com]

My journey will always be one of seeking balance, acceptance and understanding in all areas of my life.

Yup, we all need to be doing that one that's for sure. It's the matter of if we can be successful at it or not. LOL.

[crunchmd.livejournal.com]

I think I got a low dose of the flu or something like it last month. It did a number on my sinuses and throat. My voice still hasn't fully recovered. Thankfully, I don't need to depend on it right now...stay healthy!

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

I'm doing my best to stay healthy. We're down 8 voices right now... and they've scheduled a vocal rehearsal tomorrow for the entire company from 1:30pm to 5pm. I'm not sure how productive that will be when so many people can't sing out. HUGS!

Design Center

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Since the weather was coarsening, I hurried my walk and made do with taking photos of the exterior. It is an impressive set of buildings. I plan to go by next week and look at some of the furniture. (One of my favorite pastimes, but frustrating because all of my stuff is in storage and I don't need anything:)