Defining the "IST" in You:)

[mrdreamjeans]

A friend from Lufkin, Texas once told me that if you're really good at being Gay, your label for yourself should reflect that status. If you're really good at being "a Gay" as he said in his backwoods East Texas drawl, then you are from here on forward, a homosexualist.

As I headed to the Sundance Sunday-early-evening gathering somewhere in San Francisco (very hard to find), I put on my best homosexualist face. I was ready to continually ask strangers to dance, prepared for inconsequential but witty chat (the inconsequential is not my forte:) and trusted to the fates that the country-western dancing crowd would be warm and welcoming. I was hoping to muster up some charm:)

I had a wonderful time, dancing about 50 dances (in new boots) with about 20 different partners, male and female. I met two dancing bears, both live journalers but not in my circle on the site. Of course, we soon established that Dave and Richard, a couple till just a few weeks ago, knew lowfatmuffin and gotmoof. My world got immediately smaller. LOL!

Kevin, a long time acquaintance from Seattle who has resided in the Castro for a dozen years, was there to introduce me to his friends and provided me with transportation back to the Haight. I was thankful for that, as otherwise it would have been a dangerous ride on public transport back to the city.

The level of attractiveness of the crowd, which peaked at about 200, was very high. I'd say the average man there was between 35 and 50, most with facial hair, and everyone seemed motivated to have a great time! As I said, I was introduced to several nice men and, thanks to the music and the shared dances, I was relaxed and open to enjoying the evening thoroughly.

Toward the end of the dance session, a wicked idea flitted through my head. Wouldn't it be easier if tourists such as myself or men in a cruise bar situation, just had a sexual resume prepared to hand out and the interested parties have one prepared in return?

It would certainly save time. No 70s key or handkerchief codes would be necessary; no broad hints issued; no guesswork; no need to keep chit-chatting only to discover someone's looking for a side dish and has someone at home. It would be in black and white on the resume.."available only as main entree and dessert". LOL!

I envision it structured as a business resume. Goal: "Hopeful romantic with playful heart seeks partner who can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch and has an ass you can chip a tooth on..."(ummm, yes, an example... this is merely an example:)

The categories could be broken into sexual experience and history, but no dates listed, as resumes no longer list dates. This would eliminate the need for a sentence such as "gentleman who looks younger than his years...low mileage model is available....". After all, the real thing would be in front of the intrigued resume recipient.

Education would be a category. First sexual experience: "at college with a married professor and father of three". (again...uh... just a random example:) There could be a section for proficiency in tech gadgets and websites.... "have expertise in Bear411, live journal and ICUifUCme" or whatever that stuff is. It could also list skills with self-improvement tools (a tip of the hat to lowfatmuffin:)

Extracurricular activities: I'm a .... who always likes to...., occasionally will...., but will only.... if the other person can..... I never...., but am open to..... No smokers! (Ok... that one requirement would be on my resume:)

The resume would conclude with "References available on Request". My two exes and sexually-intimate friends could be contacted as a quality control measure. I believe I could live with my reviews.

Don't you think it would save time (and be a sign of confidence and fortitude) to create such a resume? What do you think of the idea? Have suggestions for improvements? Can you put the "IST" back in homosexual? Meanwhile, I'm accepting resumes and applications....LOL!