Metro-Monogamy

[mrdreamjeans]

Each morning, I read The Seattle Times on-line. A few days ago, I came across an article written by a guy named John Moe. It was tongue-in-cheek, but made me stop and think about a term he coined ... "metromonogamous". The article is essentially a "Dear John" letter to Seattle. Moe grew up there, but has now relocated to St. Paul, Minnesota. The article is titled, "Sorry Seattle - I"ve Found Somewhere Else".

As many of you know, I've wanted to live in the Twin Cities for some time. I'm constantly ready to elope there. In contrast, Seattle is the only place, other than the Houston area, where I can say, "I've lived there". I love Seattle with all of my heart. (Economics made me move away.) So, my interest was piqued by the article. As an adult, my travels and show tours have allowed me the luxury of spending months in several other cities. Among them are: Toronto, Portland, San Francisco, Orlando, Berlin, New York, Milwaukee and oddly, Salt Lake City (four months with "Phantom" in 1996).

Joe writes with humor, See, in recent years I've begun to wonder if it's really such a good idea to be metromonogamous. Should I consign myself to sleeping in just one city for the rest of my life? Is that fair to me? Is it even natural?

I see a lot of fluidity in my friends' lives. Very few of them stay in one place for a long time, especially my Gay and Lesbian friends. There are exceptions of course, but I seem to be one of those who doesn't have a loyalty to one place, though I think I am capable of being metromonogamous:) So, my friends, I ask you .. Are you loyal to one city or town? Is your heart in San Francisco or an equivalent? Or are you ready for a change of scenery?

Comments

[orangecrush206.livejournal.com]

I lived in the Seattle area for 20+ years, basically all of my adult life. And as much as I like Seattle, I was ready for something new. While I'm not sold on Virginia, it is a nice change of pace. Weather wise, I miss the 4 seasons of Spokane where I grew up. But it has very little to offer from a diversity or cultural standpoint. When I'm done with Virginia, I think I may be drawn to the Portland OR area.

[texwriterbear.livejournal.com]

That was a great post.
I have to say while my heart will always be with Welsh and Lafayette, Louisiana, (two of the four cities I've lived in during my lifetime), Houston still is a great place for me. I love it here. I have great friends here, and over the past 13 years here, I still find great things to do in this city. I have always said it would be very hard for me to pick up from here and leave, if I had to, but I'm sure I could do it. But right now, I don't want to live anywhere else.
Hugs

[tonethbone.livejournal.com]

Of course I love NY...but I don't know when I will ever get back there..if at all. Pete has a great job right here in Atlanta...and then there's my grandchildren..who live nearby...and how I love watching them grow. I'm ready...but its impractical for so many reasons. *sigh*

HUGS

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

I was born in Boston. I lived in the Boston metro region for the first thirteen years of my life. I moved to rural New Hampshire; the nearest major city was two hours away: Boston. I went to college in Boston.

I graduated college on an Air Force ROTC scholarship. I was commissioned and they sent me to Cheyenne, Wyoming. I was there four years. I liked it ... sometimes I still miss it. A little.

I left the military and returned to: rural New Hampshire, and then Boston. Where I've been ever since.

I am metromonogamous but I cheat in my heart *constantly*. I love Boston but I am frequently tired of our relationship. I love many many things about the city and rarely avail myself of them. I hate the winters.

I cheat with Los Angeles a lot, because I've visited frequently to see family who moved out there ten years ago. And with San Francisco now and then, because it feels like a better Boston with nicer weather. Lately I've been cheating with Seattle, because a few of my friends have moved there and family are relocating there .... even though I have only visited twice.

[wooddragon.livejournal.com]

Man, I love northern California. I lived there for over 25 years. I miss it, and I really miss the different communities I was part of there.

That said, I love living near the mountains. Ultimately, I'd like to live in them.

The question is, which is more important, developed community and networks, or location? Having been experimenting a little, I still can't answer that question, and I suspect it depends on where one is in one's journey as to which way that pendulum swings....

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

I wonder if in our relationships with our home towns ... like too much time in one job/career, "familiarity breeds contempt". Because I've not experienced much Winter in decades, Minneapolis, Toronto and Boston have always been at the top of my list of favorite cities. I'm a guy living in Southeast Texas with 14 winter coats:)

I grew up in Pennsylvania, was born in Erie, Although, I'm not drawn toward my birthplace, I am attracted to a four-season climate, an area that in general has progressive politics and of course, great cultural opportunities. Lately, I've been cheating with Minneapolis so much (four trips in two years with another planned), that I've not looked at another city:)

As a fun fact, we bought our first horse in Chugwater, WY, not too far from Cheyenne. The year was 1970. You were probably a twinkle in your mother's eye:)

HUGS!

[bookish-cub.livejournal.com]

I've lived in a few different places, and I have to admit that I like the excitement that I get from a change of scenery. When I moved to Minneapolis in 2006, however, I did so with the intention of making the city my permanent home. Unfortunately, the job market here is so bad that we may need to consider relocation at some point.

[notdefined.livejournal.com]

I was born in southern New Jersey in what could be described as a rural hamlet at best. At 18, I left, no fled. I am not sure if it was because I disliked the area or because I wanted to be on my own. The place doesn't seem so bad now. After college in south central North Carolina, the Navy dropped me in various places such as Orlando, Port Deposit, Md, San Diego, Southwick, Mass, before planting me in Norfolk, Va. I moved to Richmond where I remained for the next 25 years until I met Morgan and we moved to San Francisco. I have to say that while I developed an affection for some of the places I have lived, I have truly been smitten by the Bay Area. Northern California is so very different from the rest of the state. Even after 9 years, whenever we leave, I find myself looking down at the city out of the aircraft window already counting the days until we return. Yes, I've adopted this place and it has adopted me, it is like nowhere else I have ever lived. So while we may spend time in other cities and towns, this is our home, this is where we belong and we will stay for as long as we can afford to live here.

[trulygrateful.livejournal.com]

Palm Springs and (as a very close second) San Francisco are my metromonogamous cities of preference. I'm not cheating by being in NYC, but rather my life resembles that song...

If you can't be with the one you love, love (or at least attempt to like) the one you're with.

Interestingly, when I first "moved" to Palm Springs back in 1997, I grew old with it very quickly for reasons I don't recall. However, upon returning in 2001 I found something new - a sort of "rediscovery" of the locale - which made me grow very fond of it very quickly. And, in turn, it became geographical home for me.

While I like Los Angeles, if I can't life full-time in Palm Springs then I'd take San Francisco any day of the week.

Interesting concept -- thank you for bringing this up. :)

[susandennis]

I moved to Seattle in 1992 when I was 43. Before I moved here I had never lived in any one state long enough to get my drivers license renewed. From 1982-1992, I moved every 18 months. The joke was that when the under the sink counter in the bathroom needed cleaning out, I just sold the joint and moved. I worked for IBM and they made moving very easy. I had wonderful experiences and enjoyed every place I got to live.

When I got to Seattle, my fuzzy plan was to live here for a while and then move to Chicago which was/is the only place I've never lived that I really wanted to.

But, I fell madly, hopelessly in love with Seattle. Chicago is still my backup city but I suspect Seattle will love me forever.

The funny about John Moe is that he's always only been a radio voice to me. And an NPR radio voice. It was odd to see his byline on the editorial page. I still hear him every Saturday and he doesn't sound any different now that he's moved. :)

[labeartorycub.livejournal.com]

I suspect one could dub me 'semi-metromonogamous'. I used to travel for business to metro areas, e.g., Denver, Dallas, Philadelphia, but I never really got to know these cities. They were more like one- or two-night stands! :) Of all of them, I still return home to SF, my birthplace; although, every now and then, I think about moving to Portland or Seattle.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Is it the general job market? Or is the poor market specific to your field of Library Science? (Hope I got that right:)

HUGS!

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

Hah. Cue Twilight Zone music. My Dad lived in Erie for a few years during his childhood.

And I've driven through Chugwater more than once. I was an engineering project officer for the Peacekeeper missile, and there are silos all over the area near Chugwater.

My joke about Chugwater is that it was the reverse of the small towns of my New England youth. In New England, a small-town welcome sign says "Entering SoAndSo, population 6378, elevation 82." In Chugwater it's the reverse.

And in 1970 I was seven years old, silly bear. ;-)

[furfairy.livejournal.com]

I was born in Oakland and grew up in the east bay hills. Then I had stints in Evanston IL, Los Angeles (Hollywood), and NYC (Washington Heights). I felt the pull of my home town the whole time of my 15 year long wander. So I came home a few years ago. Now Oakland is so screwed up I want a divorce. It breaks my heart. But I'm probably stuck here since I have a stable job and no prospects.

There are a few places I'd like to see and consider though: San Diego, Minneapolis, Santa Fe. At least my curiosity could give me some good travel ideas.

[cincycub.livejournal.com]

I am very loyal to my hometown. I love it here. I could live somewhere else if the right opportunity presented itself, I suppose, but it hasn't yet :)

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

All of those are very good choices, for differing reasons. I love Santa Fe and San Diego as vacations destinations ... as places to go when I'm tired of wherever I am and need a break.

[mncuddlecub.livejournal.com]

Out side of the 4 years I spent in Columbus Ohio for college, I've always lived in Minnesota.

Espessially since things have gone so pourly with my folks I'd opened up alot to the idea of moving, though since John and I have started to make a life together, I've found we've already got some pretty strong roots founded where we are.

Though we do both on occassion joke about faking our deaths and starting over... somewhere.

[eggwards.livejournal.com]

Being a long time Houston resident, I thought moving to Dallas would have it's good an bad points, and I was right. Given my family's ties to Dallas, it was an easy transition, but there are a few things about Houston that make it an easier city to live in. Not sure if I can put my thumb on it, though.

That being said, Dallas is like all other Texas cities, overgrown, hot, and full of junk that's never really homegrown. I wish that the restaurants and shops were a little more representative of the community, not just another chain promoted to the masses. I loved the difference in eastern cities that have much longer histories.

That being said, I'd love to move away from Texas. In some ways Texas is changing and I'd rather remember it the way it was, nostalgically from somewhere else. For now though Chis' and my Jobs will keep us here, but someday I'd like to move west. I liked Boston, and love Chicago, but for some reason the Bay Area and/or Seattle call to me. Perhaps when I'm 50 it will be time, and another quake will bring down the home prices! (j/k)

[geometrician.livejournal.com]

I have wood for Madison, I have to say. I can imagine going somewhere else, and of course, after I graduate we may need to go somewhere else. But Madison is like one big, liberal, bohemian, academic hot spot, and I love it.

I'm quite fond of the Twin Cities, too, and would not object too much to going back to Minnesota, although if we do end up moving, I think it will be to a more temperate climate.

[elfkat.livejournal.com]

What can I say but (and thanks to Randy Newman) I love L.A. but you know that because you read my post. ;)

On the skin cancer thing. I wear a hat and lots of sunscreen I am a red/grey head, you know.

Someday you have to visit!

Hugs!

[sfmini.livejournal.com]

I'm loyal to one town, my hometown, Savannah/Tybee Island, Georgia. Unfortunately the scale of the economy there doesn't provide a lot of good jobs for someone in high level accounting such as myself. If they did I'd be back there tomorrow.

Of the other cities I've made home, Atlanta wins over SF hands down. I wanted to give SF five years and I'm just shy of that. I'm looking to go back.

What is it with Minnesota? So many of my friends moved there. Why? It's freaking cold there!!!

[bluedevilsf.livejournal.com]

I'm finding that as I get older, the idea of moving back to St. Louis becomes more and more appealing. I never stopped liking the area because it's still "home" to me and always will be.

I didn't feel at home in San Francisco, but if money were no object, I'd have a place somewhere in northern California but definitely not in SF.

The Twin Cities has been an interesting and in some respects a rewarding experience, but I don't feel at home here, either.

Steve is hot for Chicago, but as I've tried to point out to him, living there is entirely different from visiting. I'd rather visit Chicago, I think, than live there.

So, I don't know where we're going to end up. I know for sure it won't be his home state (MI).

[chrisglass.livejournal.com]

I would love to move somewhere (else), some day.

Been in Ohio my whole life, and though I've no real complaints, I very much enjoy new experiences. For now, I'll leave that to travel (which has slowed down considerably*) and to my imagination.

* Starting a company takes an investment of self (and money). So I figure by working close to home for the next 5 years or so, it will pay off later.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Portland will be similar to what you enjoyed in Seattle for 20+ years. It's a wonderfully diverse city and there are some great folks there ... a welcoming community. Though you've been in Virginia for a couple of years now, you're still connected in my thoughts to the Pac NW.

HUGS!

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Well, you've really embraced Houston and a close group of friends as extended family. You've found a place here. I gre up in Houston; but as you know, I'm not fond of the city at all. That has a lot to do with awful things that happened to me long before you moved here. Plus, I just don't do well with the climate.

Like the icon! HUGS!