Not that far-fetched a scenario .... Text borrowed from a friend

[mrdreamjeans]

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency

Associated Press
March 27, 2008

Washington, DC -- Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of April 3, 2008. The move is being made in order to save the President's $500,000 yearly salary, and also a record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead that his office has incurred during the last seven years. It is anticipated that $231 billion can be saved to the end of the President's term. "We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by e-mail this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.

Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will assume the office of President as of April 3, 2008. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, NY, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month, but no health coverage or other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President."

A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem as President Bush had never been familiar with the issues either.

Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson. "President Bush has used them successfully for years, with the result that some people actually thought he knew what he was talking about."

Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two-week waiting period, he will be eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 26 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit.

Mr. Bush has been provided with the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position due to a lack of any successful work experience during his lifetime. A greeter position at Wal-Mart was suggested.

Comments

[cimarrondfw.livejournal.com]

This is so believable.

Wishful Thinking

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

I know. There were no disclaimers when I received it and I read it twice before I was convinced it was a clever satire:)

HUGS!

[scottokc.livejournal.com]

ROFL! I'm not sure that even Walmart would hire him.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Well, most of the greeters at Wal-Mart (at least where I live) are seniors who were successful at something else. So, he wouldn't qualify. Let's see ... failed oil company business man ... handed a job as general manager of a baseball team with no real financial stake ... elected governor of Texas by defeating the incumbent with Karl Rove's help (by sending out a last minute letter implying Ann Richards was a Lesbian) .. stealing an election in the courts for the presidency and creating the largest deficit in America's history by cutting taxes and increasing spending. I don't think Wal-Mart could afford to have him as an employee:)

[scottokc.livejournal.com]

I think they're mostly seniors here, too. If I could stand for long periods, I'd consider doing it. My bad knee is the big issue.

If Bush worked at Walmart, he'd probably say that Target has weapons of mass destruction. He'd aim missiles at them and they'd really be a Target.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

How about working in a photo lab? You could be seated and productive?

[scottokc.livejournal.com]

It seems like they are standing most of the time when I go by the photo lab. I'll check into it. I am on social security disability and got something from their "Ticket to Work" program. I am going to see if I can get a job through them that would meet my needs.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

I was thinking more of a place like Ritz Camera. Whenever I go into the one in College Station, their lab tech is seated. Just a thought.

[scottokc.livejournal.com]

We don't have Ritz Camera here. I'm not sure of anything similar, but I'll check around. Working with the "Ticket to Work" program might help get me a job that would work with my disability.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Good luck!

[designerotter.livejournal.com]

I always thought he'd make a decent used car salesman in Albuquerque ... sounds about right, though I hadn't intended to insult the purveyors of used cars in Texas ;0)

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Or used car salesmen in New Mexico ... Greeters at Wal-Mart have to be charming and line up carts for your use. That might be beyond him. I think the managers might have a hard time finding him and keeping him on task ... sort of like his military service in Alabama:)

HUGS!

[benpatrick.livejournal.com]

OMG, I love this :o)..... although I don't think Bush qualified for Walmart Greeter.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

No, they usually have to be aware of those around them:)

Glad you liked it! I felt myself wanting it to be true:)