Truth and Nonsense
Jul. 24th, 2004 03:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mrdreamjeansI doubt many of my friends on Live Journal will remember an old game show called "Truth or Consequences", but I'm offering up my own version of the game by borrowing lines from a humorous slap at Texas making the rounds on the internet. So - Truth or Nonsense?... here goes:)
YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN JULY WHEN. . . .
-The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
-The trees are whistling for the dogs.
-The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
-Hot water now comes out of both taps.
-You can make sun tea instantly.
-You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
-The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
-You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
-You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
-You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
-You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
-Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up
lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
-You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
-The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and
add butter, salt and pepper.
-Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying
boiled eggs.
...and finally, for gotmoof (Tim).....
-The cows are giving evaporated milk.
A final offering:
A TEXAS BLESSING
Note: If you are not a resident of TEXAS or never have lived in the
hot, humid South, you may not understand the weight of this blessing! :)
Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.
Please keep it cool in mid-July.
Bless the walls where termites dine,
While ants and roaches march in time.
Bless our yard where spiders pass
Fire ant castles in the grass.
Bless the garage, a home to please
Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.
Bless the love bugs, two by two,
the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.
Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
in TEXAS, Lord, you've put them all.
But this is home, and here we'll stay,
So thank you Lord, for insect spray.
After yesterday's serious post, I hope that folks know I'm not serious all of the time...just most:) Enjoy!
YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN JULY WHEN. . . .
-The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
-The trees are whistling for the dogs.
-The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
-Hot water now comes out of both taps.
-You can make sun tea instantly.
-You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
-The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
-You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
-You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
-You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
-You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
-Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up
lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
-You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
-The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and
add butter, salt and pepper.
-Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying
boiled eggs.
...and finally, for gotmoof (Tim).....
-The cows are giving evaporated milk.
A final offering:
A TEXAS BLESSING
Note: If you are not a resident of TEXAS or never have lived in the
hot, humid South, you may not understand the weight of this blessing! :)
Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.
Please keep it cool in mid-July.
Bless the walls where termites dine,
While ants and roaches march in time.
Bless our yard where spiders pass
Fire ant castles in the grass.
Bless the garage, a home to please
Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.
Bless the love bugs, two by two,
the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.
Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
in TEXAS, Lord, you've put them all.
But this is home, and here we'll stay,
So thank you Lord, for insect spray.
After yesterday's serious post, I hope that folks know I'm not serious all of the time...just most:) Enjoy!
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Date: 2004-07-24 02:37 pm (UTC)LOL
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Date: 2004-07-26 11:25 pm (UTC)