mrdreamjeans: (Greenville)
[personal profile] mrdreamjeans
As you slide down the bannister of life, remember ....

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."

9. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

Date: 2006-12-18 07:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notdefined.livejournal.com
Those are priceless! Thanks for the smile. Hugs.

Date: 2006-12-18 08:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tbone1961.livejournal.com
those are good. thanks for the chuckle!!

Date: 2006-12-19 01:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scottokc.livejournal.com
Number 4 sounds like me these days. Thanks for the laugh.
From: [identity profile] bearhedded.livejournal.com
I got a card today that would fit in here: Christmas is just plain weird...what other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree in the living room and eat candy out of your socks?!?

Date: 2006-12-19 04:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madisonbear.livejournal.com
ROFL!

Oh, these are too good!

Thanks for sharing!

(Big Holiday Hugs!)

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