Honey, You've Already Lost the Battle
Jul. 20th, 2006 01:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mrdreamjeansI just finished lunch at Whataburger. It was crowded, so I wound up sitting back to back with a young family. The father was redheaded and freckled, mild-mannered, ineffectual. The mother, dark and intense, was seemingly overwhelmed by eating in a restaurant with three kids under the age of five.
As I was sitting closest to the Mom, I could hear everything she said. She had a split personality when it came to the kids. She would say something poisonous to her son (the eldest) who was fidgeting, then talk syrupy sweet to the little girls (who were also fidgeting ... more so than her son). She threatened the boy with dire consequences about three times in five minutes. Finally, she stood up and yelled at him, “I don’t like the tone of voice you are using, Mister! This is the last warning I’m giving you for the rest of your life!”
Somehow, I think I offended her when I let out a guffaw and snorted diet Dr Pepper out of my nose! *grin* I wanted to say to her, “Honey, you’ve already made a fool out of yourself. You’ve already lost the discipline battle with your kids through your own behavior. To top it off, she marched the family out the door and left a huge mess of uneaten and smeared food, bags and other debris on the table and floor. Now, her kids have been taught the message that you don’t have to behave or clean up after yourself when you’re in a public place. I’m sorry, but some people should not be allowed to breed without a license. My advice to Dad ... Keep it zipped .. or come out ... since you were actively cruising me when your wife was in the restroom with your daughters.!
As I was sitting closest to the Mom, I could hear everything she said. She had a split personality when it came to the kids. She would say something poisonous to her son (the eldest) who was fidgeting, then talk syrupy sweet to the little girls (who were also fidgeting ... more so than her son). She threatened the boy with dire consequences about three times in five minutes. Finally, she stood up and yelled at him, “I don’t like the tone of voice you are using, Mister! This is the last warning I’m giving you for the rest of your life!”
Somehow, I think I offended her when I let out a guffaw and snorted diet Dr Pepper out of my nose! *grin* I wanted to say to her, “Honey, you’ve already made a fool out of yourself. You’ve already lost the discipline battle with your kids through your own behavior. To top it off, she marched the family out the door and left a huge mess of uneaten and smeared food, bags and other debris on the table and floor. Now, her kids have been taught the message that you don’t have to behave or clean up after yourself when you’re in a public place. I’m sorry, but some people should not be allowed to breed without a license. My advice to Dad ... Keep it zipped .. or come out ... since you were actively cruising me when your wife was in the restroom with your daughters.!
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Date: 2006-07-20 07:09 pm (UTC)I've often thought that myself. Then I thinnk that odds are my own parents wouldn't have been able to pass a qualifying test. :-^
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Date: 2006-07-21 01:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-20 07:34 pm (UTC)OMG...a man after my own heart....hell you have to have a license for just about everything else, why not birthing?
I got to experience ineffectual parenting myself the other day. While sitting in urgent care this little girl decided she was going to go back to the exam room area by herself. The mother says, "you'll get your fingers caught in the door." She got in without injury, and what did the mother do? Sit on her ass and yell at the child through the glass. When she was called, she went to get the child and the demon spawn turned the other way and ran down the hallway. The woman's response - "bye."
OMG, I was in such a bitchy mood, I said, loud enough for everyone in the room to hear, "Lady, GO GET HER and BE responsible for your child's behavior." She gave me a dirty look and proceeded to go the other way.
Doncha just love breeders?
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Date: 2006-07-21 01:27 pm (UTC)I don't think you were being bitchy to say something to the mother who was screaming at her child instead of handling the situation appropriately. By her choice of response, she made it everyone's business who was in urgent care. I would have been just as vocal, maybe even more confrontational. I might have even asked for security to be called to question the mother about endangering her child.
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Date: 2006-07-20 07:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-20 08:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-21 03:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-21 06:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-21 01:36 pm (UTC)I'm thinking back to something my sister and I used to do when we were teens, just to be evil. We'd go into a restaurant, pretend we were married, decide on a story and then fight. One of us would storm out of the restaurant after making a dire pronouncement like, "Well, if you hadn't slept with him/her, this wouldn't have happened. I'm leaving you! You can keep the kids!" LOL! Geez ... What were we thinking ... We weren't ... we thought it was funny. Umm .. I can only plead ... I did become an actor ...
Being a dad..
Date: 2006-07-20 08:21 pm (UTC)Re: Being a dad..
Date: 2006-07-21 01:40 pm (UTC)You are correct, though, it was definitely passive-aggressive ....
Re: Being a dad..
Date: 2006-07-21 02:39 pm (UTC)In utter agreement
Date: 2006-07-21 09:51 pm (UTC)Re: Being a dad..
Date: 2006-07-21 04:40 pm (UTC)Re: Being a dad..
Date: 2006-07-21 05:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-20 09:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-20 10:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-21 01:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-21 02:37 pm (UTC)Who *wouldn't* cruise you?!
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Date: 2006-07-21 02:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-20 09:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-20 09:55 pm (UTC)I was Happy to be canned for that...man was the husband EMBARASSED!
The coochie snacher (wife)? She was my new favorite word, I'll give you a hint, starts with a "c" and ends in UNT
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Date: 2006-07-21 01:58 pm (UTC)I want to make it clear that I don't automatically assume that it's the mother's fault when there are discipline problems. I happen to like women very much. I'm responding to the failure of the couple as parents and this one woman's inappropriate response ...
A few months ago, I wrote about a mother's heroic response on a US Air flight where her two little ones were ill and there wasn't a working bathroom. I was still on tour with Evita. I try to acknowledge when I see parents do something very right too:) HUGS!
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Date: 2006-07-21 02:59 pm (UTC)Yeah, you're right, it has be case by case, most of life should be right?!
I think my general reaction to stuff like that is so, well, extreme, because of how my parents were as i was growing up, and then I see how my siblings lack parenting skills - which I don't get, cuz my parents were VERY good at trying to instill responsibility and respect in us. oh well, they aren't my kids - and that ain't happenin!!
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Date: 2006-07-21 01:51 pm (UTC)And what are U doing @ Wahtabaga???
Date: 2006-07-20 11:06 pm (UTC)Biche, you got the BEST trailer park tales, e-vah! You really do. You shoulda leaned over and did like me in one of my past trailer park moments and say to one of the little girls "Pssst!... I wantcha daddy - bad. NOW!"
I did this with one of my River Oaks princesses when I had the store and she handed him over! :-) She walked in with her salt-n-pepper daddy "visibly fresh-out-of-closet" and don't ask me to elaborate anymore than that, and I said to her "I wantcha daddy - now". Her eyes popped out. And then I said "50% on this sale if I get a date, 1 comp dress + all necessary accessories if I get to 1st base, and free selected items for life if I marry him!" So, we said "Deal!"
I'm going to leave the rest of this story as you have so cruel-ly done with yours! Jesus, if you gonna peep, let's peep! So, what happened??? How d'he cruise you? I know you're gonna swing your princely cape and say "Uggh, he was'nt my type! Closet cases are gross", but still, DESCRIBE. PLEASE!
As you can see, I'm not even gonna comment on the state of American trailer parkness cuz some of the visiting dignitaries have amply done so, except to say "And these people are supposed to understand why we're in Itaq?" No, "This is why we're in Iraq"... and how, but never mind...
I need to treat you to a lunch @ Viet Hoa by the Beltway when you come in next and remember to call me - ahemm! :-)
Re: And what are U doing @ Wahtabaga???
Date: 2006-07-21 02:50 pm (UTC)I would never say that closet cases are gross as that was my specialization when I first came out and what is often attracted to me:) I hope to attract someone now who is secure in his sexuality, but I stil meet an abundance of closeted men.
You're on for lunch:) HUGS! ps ... I love Whataburger ... so I guess I'll have to make do with the folks chowing down around me:)
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Date: 2006-07-20 11:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-21 12:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-21 02:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-21 02:57 pm (UTC)Once I even said, "Well, we certainly can tell who's been skinny dippin' in the shallow end of the gene pool.: *sigh* It was wasted. They didn't get it:)
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Date: 2006-07-21 12:34 am (UTC)I had a few seconds of fun semi-cruising a Buddhist monk while waiting for my bus at the Uptown Transit station.
I can be so bleeding eeevil when I wanna...
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Date: 2006-07-21 02:00 pm (UTC)semi-cruising buddhist monk @ a bus stop
Date: 2006-07-21 09:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-21 01:08 am (UTC)I really dispise guys who let themselves be henpecked by their bitchy wives. Sometimes I wonder if the wives are the worst.
Anyway, If it'd been me, I'd have wanted to bitch out the wife, the daddy for being inefectual and to the kids to shut up and eat and that their behaviors are not appropriate etc, etc and genrally made the wife horribly embarrased for her horrible behvior.
Passive aggression is indeed rampant these days.
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Date: 2006-07-21 02:59 pm (UTC)My, my, my......
Date: 2006-07-21 01:44 am (UTC)HOWEVER I was at a fav restaurant this evening and quite the opposite happened (yeah, no one cruised me...but that's not the point...grin). The Mother Apparent as I will call her was very patient was far too many children that anyone should have to deal with while the father rattled on about his by-gone baseball days with another couple at the table (I honestly wanted to slap him!). She, on the other hand. gave time to all the children as they wondered around the restaurant (OK...not one of the reasons I like the restaurant, OK?) ...with special attention a toddler who only cried once for a minute or two.
Whataburger? I never eat at the one near my apt...it's always "head home" for me with my fav cheeseburger combo (with plenty of katsup) from the place.
(hugs)
Re: My, my, my......
Date: 2006-07-21 03:04 pm (UTC)I wrote about this couple because I thought the Mom's reaction was so out of whack in response to the children's behavior. It made me laugh. However, I am always saddened when I see a couple with a large family where they aren't parenting as a team. You see a lot of that in Texas ... The mother doing all the work and the father not good for much except f**king.
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Date: 2006-07-21 03:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-21 03:26 am (UTC)The dad just sat there and didn't say or do anything ... guess he didn't want a scene.
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Date: 2006-07-22 01:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-21 07:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-21 03:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-21 05:16 pm (UTC)Extended families (not nuclear families) were the norm for thousands of years. (It takes a village to raise a child). In changing to nuclear families, we have gained autonomy and individual freedom, but lost other qualities. Which is why parenting licences will never fly in North America.
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Date: 2006-07-23 01:03 am (UTC)Wow! Well, I agree with your original observations. She was overboard and lopsided in her approach, but who knows? Maybe at least she wasn't an Andrea Yates, who will go home and drown them all in the bathtub.
I am one of those somewhat rare gay men. I started off living a straight life(style) with a wife and children. We had three in slightly over four years. Being a parent is not easy. No one ever said it was. A lot of things could have been going on here.
She may be neurotic, clinically off. Her husband may have known from experience that saying anything in the Whataburger might result in an even worse scene and disproportionate punishment for everyone in earshot, not counting what she might continue doing at home. Maybe he was a closeted gay man, but he may just have been at his personal rope's end and smilingly foolishly as though he were begging, "Please what you see here is only the tip of the iceberg."
I think my wife and I did do a good job raising our kids. The finished products are now 30, 32, and 34 and doing very well, thank you, including with their own children. I also think it's a bit off just to say it's our country. One of the big differences nowadays is too much pseudo-affluence. Families in my childhood hardly ever could have gone out to eat. Believe me. I am, by the way, soon to be 64.
Still, I think you described the situation aptly and laughed out loud appropriately. Who knows what the disturbed woman did later? Also, one of your commentators said something about her (possible) dislike of males. I got a weird comment from my living-with-us, deteriorating aunt not so long ago. She said, "You were such a cute little boy. Why did you grow up and become a man? I hate men!" Food for thought.
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Date: 2006-07-23 05:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-23 10:00 am (UTC)