mrdreamjeans: (Neil B)
[personal profile] mrdreamjeans
I just returned from driving my Dad to cardiac rehab in Navasota, Texas. I’m in the office with the blinds closed, trying to escape the 101 degree F, 5:30pm heat. It’s also humid. All things considered, I’m handling the stress and uncomfortable climate pretty well. I’m just imagining myself in Seattle or further north or even in another hemisphere where it’s Winter:)

I’ve come across a few quotes about love which I saved, recently received an email or two with sentimental, sometimes humorous thoughts on the topic. What is the meaning of love? How does love feel? What does it mean to receive love or give love? Is unconditional love possible? As you can see, "Love Is" is a topic near and dear to my heart:)

I came across this quotation a few months back. It rings true to me. I’ve had a couple of dating situations where this was the case ... “He was never my great love, just my great wanting to be loved.” What do you think? Anyone like that in your personal history of romance? When I was in Minneapolis, I watched one of my favorite films, one that fell under the radar (or Gaydar) of most people. The movie is titled “Unconditional Love” and starred Kathy Bates, Rupert Everett and Jonathan Pryce. Stylistically, it’s a mish-mosh, but I like its message. Paraphrasing Bates’ character ..”Unconditional love is when you love someone and the other person doesn’t have to say it back for it to be so.” I’ve loved like that .... Have you?

A Seattle friend forwarded me an email a couple of days ago, one that’s been going around to unabashedly sentimental folk such as myself. Supposedly, the words come from the mouth of babes. I like to think that children could say things so obviously wise and uncensored about the meaning of love. I’ve edited the email, using only the quotes that have resonance for me.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." - Rebecca- age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." - Billy - age 4

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." - Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." - Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with someone you hate." - Nikka - age 6 (We need a few million more Nikka's on this planet.)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." - Noelle - age 7

"My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." - Clare - age 6

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." - Mary Ann - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (What an image!) - Karen - age 7

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." - Jessica - age 8 (Go Jessica! I live by this creed.)

My favorite -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there! When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing ... I just helped him cry ..."

I have one example to add from my own experience ... When my nephew Buddy was 5, (He's now 22.) my brother Jeff moved the family to Alabama for a job opportunity. As I was saying goodbye, I gave Buddy a hug ... "Buddy, you're Uncle Neil is really going to miss you." As I was talking to him, he was shyly kicking gravel; he suddenly stopped, looked up at me and said, "Don't worry Uncle Neil ... Wherever I am, I still love you." I hold on to that memory, the feeling of his words, with all of my might.

Finally - Let me wish [livejournal.com profile] guyfromoz and [livejournal.com profile] thickstache very Happy Birthdays!!! It's been my pleasure to meet both of you in person. Hope this day has been filled with celebration! HUGS!

Date: 2006-07-18 12:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bearhedded.livejournal.com
My friend, Bonnie, used to use the line about "liking your shirt", but it had a MUCH different ending!

Date: 2006-07-19 03:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
I've been told to take my sweater off ... I wasn't even wearing a shirt:)

ah, yes....

Date: 2006-07-20 12:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bearhedded.livejournal.com
R.J. used to use that one to antagonize Allen Wasserman (don't know if you've ever worked with him..).....oddly enough, it was R.J. that introduced me to Bonnie!

Thanks for your words here, Neil...

Date: 2006-07-18 01:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] becker-boy.livejournal.com
Tried to honestly answer the question you pose but was admittedly at a loss for the most honest thing to say.

And I could tell you why that is...except there isn't enough room in one of these messages boxes for that. (grin)

(hugs to you)

Re: Thanks for your words here, Neil...

Date: 2006-07-19 03:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
I posed so many questions. You could answer one:) I like what you have to say.

Date: 2006-07-18 01:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ciddyguy.livejournal.com
What a neat post Neil.

It's amazing how insightful children can sometimes be, isn't it?

Personally, I think love comes in many forms to be honest.

:-)

Date: 2006-07-19 03:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
I hope these were real statements by kids. Regardless ... They make a lot of sense and touch the heart.

Date: 2006-07-18 02:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mikeybill.livejournal.com
How's your Dad doing through all this? Hope he's ok. And it's nice and chilly here today - temp seems to have dropped a lot today. Come on down and cool off ;-)

As to love, well, we know it when it's there, or when it's not, but the words for it...

Date: 2006-07-19 03:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
Boy oh boy, how I'd love to visit New Zealand! You had to rub in the cool temperature there, didn't you? LOL!

My Dad is doing very well physically and not so well with memory. We saw the heart surgeon today who said the wounds are healing well and that he doesn't need to see Dad again unless there's an unexpected problem. The neurologist said he doesn't need to see Dad again till Nov. We still have three other doctors to see ...and rehab three times a week. I've got to get this schedule down so I can seek work.

One of the hardest things for Dad is taking 12 different medications, 18 pills a day. I know many of my friends with their regimens for HIV and one with cancer have had more complicated cases, but Dad will get it down, I'm confident.

I appreciate you asking ... Hugs!

Date: 2006-07-18 08:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vernnyc.livejournal.com
I think I want to be a little kid when I grow up!

I bought my mom a book, I think it was called "Letters to God" that was full of cute stuff like this. Kids can be great.

Date: 2006-07-19 03:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
I really enjoy the sayings ... I'm sure you can be anything you want to be when you grow up:)!

By the way ... I like this icon!

HUGS!

Date: 2006-07-19 10:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vernnyc.livejournal.com
thanks!

I occasionally take a new picture ... usually in a bath room these days. As [livejournal.com profile] theoctothorpe has said elsewhere, "they have the best lighting!"

...

Date: 2006-07-18 08:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tkn1114.livejournal.com
Hey, have you not posted something similar to this once? Not that it matters cuz God only knows there can never be enough talk about love or act of.

I wonder what happens between this innocence and the "all about me" mode when they grow up? :0) Seems a long way, or may be not... You also wonder how much of such wisdom is inate and how much is repeated after adults? Which reminds me of the last line of one of my most favorite stories seen on LJ. I found it in LJ quietdanmn's memories, and it was originally posted by LJ denizer. It's called A Story of Love, and the line is "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is"

Hope your folks are doing well. Stay indoors! :0)

Re: ...

Date: 2006-07-18 12:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cimarrondfw.livejournal.com
Thanks for sharing these wonderful thoughts of children.

Re: ...

Date: 2006-07-19 03:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
You're welcome! I hope that you are doing well. I know that you help take care of someone with memory loss on a daily basis. I challenge myself to handle Dad's recovery with as much grace as you do your situation. Big Hugs!

Re: ...

Date: 2006-07-19 12:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cimarrondfw.livejournal.com
Oh, dear, Neil. I don't know how much grace I have. The best I can do sometimes is to keep my mouth shut. The one with grace is Charlie. As lapses come and go, I am resented because I know too much of the history of the past. I cherish the virtual hug.

Re: ...

Date: 2006-07-19 03:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
That's a great quote and I think it is very true. You do need time to gain the perspective on how much someone means/meant to you in your life. I have loved well ... sometimes not wisely ... but I regret nothing.

Funny you should ask about previous posting ... It felt like I had, but I couldn't find a post where I had used the kids' quotes on love. Obviously, I borrowed them ... But, I agree with you .. There is NEVER too much talk about love or the act of loving.

HUGS!

Non, rien de rien...

Date: 2006-07-19 07:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tkn1114.livejournal.com
. "I have loved well... Sometimes not wisely... but I regret nothing" - Oh, you're soooo Piaf! That's a direct quote from her most celebrated song "Non, je ne regrette rien!"

. You can get the whole text of The Story of Love from LJ quietdanmn's memories. You have to read the whole thing to really appreciate the depth of it. It's one of my favorite LJ finds. It's very VNmese in tone as well as in contents. That love is about patience rather than tempestuous hayfire is very asian. You sit and wait forever, and you love someone no matter where they are or what the distances between the 2 of you. Not a lot of people buy this in instant America except for my 2 faves Lilian Hellman and Tennessee Williams.

. A present for you: A VNmese song...
"Nhu mot giong song nho / Like a winding stream
Tinh da cuong ra di / Love has slipped away
Ra di cung nam thang / Gone with the years and months
Ra di tit muon trung / Gone far, so far away
Oi, cuoc tinh tho mong! / O, that love so romantic!
Gio con thoang du am / Now but a breath of a memory
5 nam roi khong gap / 5 years we have'nt met
10 nam mat nhau khong? / 10 years will we lose each other?
Co mat nhau khong?... / Will we lose each other?..."

Whoever gets this, I will marry :0)

Re: Non, rien de rien...

Date: 2006-07-19 02:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
Love is about patience and perspective ... Because I've got a few years on me, I am able to look back on some of my most important relationships and understand exactly what they meant in the overall scheme of things ...

"You sit and wait forever, and you love someone no matter where they are or what the distances between the two of you." This sounds like a chapter from my life.

I am honored by the gift of the song. Hugs, my friend ...

Date: 2006-07-18 01:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deege.livejournal.com
I really enjoyed Unconditional Love and its sentiments. I think each person's definition of love is a little different which is what makes love so magical and so close to the heart.

We definitely lose touch with simplicity as we grow older. It's easy to get trapped in psychobabble about need fulfillment. That child in the story who sat on the neighbor's lap to "help him cry" put forth a simple gesture with universal meaning.

Date: 2006-07-19 04:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
Howdy! It's good that you still find the magic in love. So many people give into cynicism. I believe in being a clear-eyed hopeful romantic ... tend toward the sentimental ... I won't ever give up on love.

May you stay in touch with your simplicity when it comes to loving and caring for friends, family and that special someone.

HUGS!

Date: 2006-07-19 02:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
ps ... I've checked out your journal and really like what I see. I hope you don't mind, but I've friended you. Please feel free to put me on your friends list if you like what you read.

Date: 2006-07-18 03:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deebee.livejournal.com
nice post, neil...
love is a many splendid thing
love is blue
love is like oxygen
love is

Date: 2006-07-19 04:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
Love is never haiving to say you're sorry:)

But I am sorry for having missed "Violet". With the trip and Dad' emergencies, I just couldn't make it into Houston at the right time. Please forgive.

I hope your eye had improved and that you feel rested after getting to spend some quality time with Mike.

HUGS!

Date: 2006-07-19 01:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deebee.livejournal.com
you are forgiven, sir... (like that was needed)... with all you've been going through ... job search, dad's illness, etc., you don't EVEN need to apologise!

violet was a peach! a juicy role for me like billy bibbitt in "one flew over the cuckoo's nest" though not as extreme, but still a good one!

eye is 'somewhat' better....grrrrr
time with mike is ALWAYS good!!!!!

hugs & whirled peas,
deebee

Date: 2006-07-18 03:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bruinwi.livejournal.com
A friend is someone who doesn't wipe off the mouth of the soda bottle you just drank from when you share it with him.

Date: 2006-07-19 04:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
Hmmm ... I got a mild case of hepatitis from doing that back in 1980 during performances of 'The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas":) However ... when I think about it ... I never worry if I drink after Tim or Steve or my folks.... Guess you're right:) HUGS!

Date: 2006-07-18 06:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jhitchin.livejournal.com
To me, the one thing that says love is doing someone else's dishes.

You see, back when Greg and I had started dating, we went and saw a movie together with a friend ("The 13th Warrior") and during the movie, I started to get a migraine. I don't get them often, but when I do, they're awful. By the time the movie was over, my head was screaming in pain, my tummy was not happy and any light bothered me. We went back to my apartment, and after throwing up, I took some Advil and went to bed (the only thing that helps). I have vague memories of hearing Greg playing EverQuest on my computer while I drifted in and out of sleep. When I woke up and my head was better, I'd found that Greg had washed all of my dirty dishes.

I said, "You didn't have to do that."

He said, "I wanted to do something to help."

I still get misty thinking about it.

Date: 2006-07-19 04:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
That sounds like a wonderful man!! Keep him!

I must be fairly universal in my love by that definition .. If I'm a guest in a friend, boyfriend or family member's home, I think nothing of doing their dishes or other chores for them ...even laundry. It's a way of showing I care ... by taking time to make their day a little easier.

Hope you're doing well and that Seattle is a lot cooler right now than here in Texas!

Date: 2006-07-19 01:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deebee.livejournal.com
love is going down on your boyfriend in the morning
to wake him up and not expecting anything in return
*grins*

Date: 2006-07-19 02:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
Well, if that were always the case, I think I'd be more of a morning person:) Pictures, man ...where are the pictures? *grin*

Date: 2006-07-19 03:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] perkk.livejournal.com
I like this post. I think of love is when the world becomes more. Possability increases. It's about giving.

Date: 2006-07-19 04:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
Love does make me feel like the world has opened up and offered me more possibilities. I was at my happiest, most complete, when Tim and I were together. I was fine when our relationship became a cherished friendship, but I do miss the sense of well-being ... of unconditional love and giving. I want to recapture that feeling. It was a wonderful lesson to learn ... one to be repeated with the right person down the line:)

Your world must be very full, because of all the people I've met recently, you understand the most about giving and sharing ...

Hugs, my friend ...

Grasshopper

Date: 2006-07-28 12:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] perkk.livejournal.com
I know enough to know that I don't know enough. I am but a humble beginner. I have been lucky in love, and I hope to be more so before my brief time in this world is up.

Date: 2006-07-19 07:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tkn1114.livejournal.com
gimme :0)

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