Dependence Day
Jul. 3rd, 2004 01:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mrdreamjeansAs we head into the holiday, my sister and niece are vacationing in Florida; my brother and family are fishing at a lake in West Texas. What am I doing? Worrying about my dad's health.
Dad has had a headache at the base of his neck which comes and goes. It started 24 hours ago. Along with this, he's very dizzy if he tries to get up off the couch. The condition is severe enough that he has double vision. I've called our family doctor twice this morning, have had him paged, but to no avail.
The first call I made was at 9:40am; the follow-up at 10:40am. I spoke to live people on both calls. No returned calls. I know it's a holiday weekend, but I'm in that grey area - the symptoms aren't quite severe enough to go to the emergency room or to call 911, nor do they mimic his stroke of 18 months ago. However, it is hard to watch him stumbling around, be even more disconnected in his thoughts than usual. Something IS wrong.
My fear is that I will once again see him in full stroke mode. I interceded early enough last time, got him to the emergency room quickly; he made it and fully recovered. I'm going to do my damnedest to make sure I don't miss any signals of distress; but as I said; the signals are kind of mixed today.
I got up at 7am and fixed breakfast for Dad. (Mom isn't feeling well either.) He slept for several hours and then I fixed chicken salad for lunch. He seems to be in better shape, enjoyed the meal; he's sitting up watching another Western, but I'm still concerned.
I suspect that his medications for diabetes, depression and prostate need adjustment in their dosages or that they are not interacting well; but I'm certainly not a medical professional.
Dad sleeps many hours during the day, every day, much more than normal. In fact, he falls asleep almost every time he is stationary. I don't think this is just old age. (He's 74.) I know that it frustrates the hell out of my mom who's always busy doing something to see him so inactive.
I know a lot of folks who are older and in worse shape who still lead active and vital lives. But today is not a day to lecture Dad about getting up and doing something with the rest of his life. I know when to back off.
One thing I want to make sure is that anyone who reads this realizes that I'm not feeling sorry that I don't have big, fun plans for the 4th. I am just writing to deal with the stress I am feeling and searching for the kind of patience and understanding my Dad needs today.
I'll be monitoring Dad throughout the day. You can be sure of that. Ironic - tomorrow is Independence Day; my day won't be about celebrating our country's independence, but instead unwilling witness to dad's gradual decline.... to dependence. July 4th - Dependence Day.
Dad has had a headache at the base of his neck which comes and goes. It started 24 hours ago. Along with this, he's very dizzy if he tries to get up off the couch. The condition is severe enough that he has double vision. I've called our family doctor twice this morning, have had him paged, but to no avail.
The first call I made was at 9:40am; the follow-up at 10:40am. I spoke to live people on both calls. No returned calls. I know it's a holiday weekend, but I'm in that grey area - the symptoms aren't quite severe enough to go to the emergency room or to call 911, nor do they mimic his stroke of 18 months ago. However, it is hard to watch him stumbling around, be even more disconnected in his thoughts than usual. Something IS wrong.
My fear is that I will once again see him in full stroke mode. I interceded early enough last time, got him to the emergency room quickly; he made it and fully recovered. I'm going to do my damnedest to make sure I don't miss any signals of distress; but as I said; the signals are kind of mixed today.
I got up at 7am and fixed breakfast for Dad. (Mom isn't feeling well either.) He slept for several hours and then I fixed chicken salad for lunch. He seems to be in better shape, enjoyed the meal; he's sitting up watching another Western, but I'm still concerned.
I suspect that his medications for diabetes, depression and prostate need adjustment in their dosages or that they are not interacting well; but I'm certainly not a medical professional.
Dad sleeps many hours during the day, every day, much more than normal. In fact, he falls asleep almost every time he is stationary. I don't think this is just old age. (He's 74.) I know that it frustrates the hell out of my mom who's always busy doing something to see him so inactive.
I know a lot of folks who are older and in worse shape who still lead active and vital lives. But today is not a day to lecture Dad about getting up and doing something with the rest of his life. I know when to back off.
One thing I want to make sure is that anyone who reads this realizes that I'm not feeling sorry that I don't have big, fun plans for the 4th. I am just writing to deal with the stress I am feeling and searching for the kind of patience and understanding my Dad needs today.
I'll be monitoring Dad throughout the day. You can be sure of that. Ironic - tomorrow is Independence Day; my day won't be about celebrating our country's independence, but instead unwilling witness to dad's gradual decline.... to dependence. July 4th - Dependence Day.
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no subject
Date: 2004-07-03 03:54 pm (UTC)Sorry to hear that your father isn't doing well. I'm also sorry to hear that it's falling on Independence day weekend.
Let's just hope he gets the help he needs and gets better soon.
Take care of yourself now.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-03 04:06 pm (UTC)In these days of HMO rip-offs it is the only way to be seen during non-business hours... Or perhaps, is there a walk-in facility for not-quite-emergencies? We had to do this with Dale after his release from rehab, when the system did not include one of the elements for a new medications (powder + liquid + needles --he had no problem getting a bag full of syringes and the powder, but somehow it was not permitted to prescribe the liquid mixing agent to a civilian ..what a PAIN in the ass..anway, the quasi ER was the ONLY way it could be done on a weekend day.)
Dad's Feeling Better
Date: 2004-07-03 04:48 pm (UTC)My parents don't have to deal with HMOs, thank goodness, just medicare and medicare supplemental insurance.
"Hello, Doctor. Yes, This is Neil, while your service was failing to contact you, Dad died. (click!) My perverse side would love to say this if it wasn't crying woof and just plain wrong....LOL!
I do think that Dad is over-medicated and I will pursue this with our doctor. Watching him have a stroke in October 2001 gave me a real sense of life's impermanence and colors a lot of my current reactions to life.
For instance, I never end a phone call with a close friend or family member without saying "I love you." I don't expect to hear it back (though it is nice), but, baby, you're going to hear it from me. I never know when it might be the last time I get to tell you:)
I survived Dad's anger at the stroke. I took charge of the building of my folks' home, the rehab, the packing, move, decorating, etc and the other stuff going on at the time of the stroke. I made decisions for them. Dad resented it, was frustrated with his weakness, but I would do it all again in the same situation). I want my Dad to be stubborn and cranky as he wants, if arguing keeps him here with us.
I'm rambling, but thanks for your words, Les. I hope Dale is doing better. Hugs!