Mouth-Breathing (Can You Hear Me Now?)

[mrdreamjeans]

There are many reasons for mouth-breathing, but I’m mostly doing so because I was hit tonight on the bridge of my nose for the third time in ten shows. The first two times resulted in cuts which bled for while. Tonight, the visual joke known as ‘a painting smashed over my head’ resulted in part of the wood frame catching the badge on my hat, badly bending the badge (almost ripping it from the hat); reopening the cut, bruising one side of my nose and making it difficult to breath. So, it’s mouth-breathing for me till swelling subsides.

David and I have rehearsed the bit and it’s increasingly frustrating because neither one of us can figure out why it’s only worked 7 of 10 times. The business may have to be cut or altered as it’s not fool-proof. I’ve never given up on a bit, but one more whack could break my nose.

Sometimes I think theater criticism is nothing but mouth-breathing:) “Wonderful Town” has garnered smash reviews; we’re five for five calling us a dazzling hit. That’s terrific! However, a writer from Seattle alternative paper The Stranger followed Sarah (Ruth) around backstage on our final preview. One of our actors was reading a review which cruelly and personally attacked a friend of his performing in another show than ours.

Jim went off about the mean-spirited critic not realizing the writer of the piece was in the room. When he did find out, our actor confronted the writer about the attack. The confrontation was mentioned in the piece that came out today on “Wonderful Town”. It led to a dressing room discussion of theater criticism, its role within a community and the effects on an actor’s psyche.

Most actors I know don’t read reviews until after the show closes. I read them right away, but mostly because I worked as a critic for a couple of years and like to see if the person is a good writer. I look for accuracy in the facts; a sense of style ... I don’t look to agree or disagree with the writer. After all, it’s one person’s opinion. When I wrote, I tried to remind my readers that my review was simply an opinion. I encouraged them to attend theatre and decide for themselves. I tried to offer constructive criticism.

It’s much easier to go negative, than to be positive but critical. A Houston critic, reviewing a comedy a few years back said that the lead actor was “as funny as a dead baby’s grave”. A piercing and vivid remark, but cruel. I had a difficult task when I reviewed musicals in Houston because I was often looking critically at the acting community of which I was a member. I negotiated the role pretty well except on one disastrous occasion.

I was sent to review a Las Vegas-based comedy revue which was playing Houston. The show had added two Houstonians to their bawdy sketch show; both men I had worked with previously. One of the actors was a female impersonator of some reputation. I sat in disbelief, as in one sketch after another, he was terrible ... embarrassingly inept and offensive. I remember thinking, “How am I going to write about this?” I said, “The always talented **** was let down by his material.” Sounds safe, right? What I didn’t know was that he had written the drivel too. A backfire, but I did try to be nice and at the same time let readers know that the material didn’t work. Oh well ....

Finally, there’s mouth-breathing as in being turned on:) The dressing room I’m sharing with two other actors is nicknamed “Vegas” ... as in “What goes on in Vegas, stays in Vegas”. Typical of musical theatre, the chat in our dressing room is funny, inventive ... often sexual and profane. We were discussing the ‘ins and outs’ of a situation and then got sidetracked to the implications of sex in the phrase. All of a sudden we were debating a subject I’d never thought of in a specific way. In sex, is it the ‘in’ or ‘out’ which is more pleasurable? I think it bears examination and study. *grin* .... Can you hear me now? Ha!

Comments

Confused...

[mikeybill.livejournal.com]

Well you know, as a dedicated bottom, I'd have to say that I think I enjoy it more going in, no,... out, no...in, no... out, ummm, when it's pushing in just right and it hits that sweet spot......Oscar Wilde once said 'Comparisons are odious' I agree, let's enjoy each and every move for what it is ;-)

Re: Confused...

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Oh sure ... get me all ready for your opinion and then quote Wilde! *grin* Every move should be enjoyed, but would it really hurt to practice and find out quantitatively if there's a preference:)? As a dedicated top, I celebrate your choice:)

Re: Confused...

[mikeybill.livejournal.com]

Did I say was opposed to more practice and research? ;-)

And I hope your nose stays intact.

[daltxfurry.livejournal.com]

Ah....dressing room chatter....definitely Vegas. I have had so many varied and interesting dressing room conversations and experiences.

I think one of the best was when I was doing GODSPELL at a private college in the Bay Area back in 1996. It was the 2nd week of performances. It was Thurs night. Our first performance of the week. Everyone was in a bit of a funk for some reason. Just couldn't shake the week and leave the baggage at the door.

Well we men were in our dressing room. Sudden, all the women come FLYING in wearing only their pants/skirts and bras. The place errupted in laughter. Full on guffaws and falling to the floor with tears in our eyes...it was JUST what we needed. And I have the pictures to prove it.

And some of the sex talks that have gone on in dressing rooms....my LORD.....even I blushed a little from time to time over the years.

As to reviewing...yes....very had. There is an old saying "Bad actors never fade away, they just become critics" Sometimes I wonder if that is true or not. So many reviews I have read seem so pithy and venomous. Like they are just WAITING for an singer to hit a clunker or a dancer to trip. It's really sad....

Whenever I have seen a show I have the problem of watching it with a performer's eye. I try and take in the whole show, but I watch set changes, dance steps, blocking, etc. It sometimes is hard to separate myself. Probably one reason I don't try and become a reviewer. Well, that and the fact I don't write well enough.

Hope the nose gets better soon. Are you getting hazard pay? :-)

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

It's hard to explain to people who aren't familiar with backstage antics how funny the potty-mouth banter can be. You've brought up a great point ... laughter releases stress. Isn't all of this one of the reasons we enjoy doing theatre so much? Where else can you be so free? I have a feeling you and I will have stories to tell each other for years to come:) (As to some of the frank chat ... I often find myself blushing ... as I laugh my head off!) HUGS! Congrats on the new show!!

[becker-boy.livejournal.com]

For heaven's sake....don't break your nose! LOL

About reviewing a production for a newspaper... My question is as simple as it probably is naive. If the process is fraught with so many minefields, such as you outlined in your post, what is the purpose of one then? You want to be fair but honest, yet you were quick to add, in the case of your example of the "backfire" that you were aware of a working relationship of some sorts with two of the performers. Did that awareness affect your review in any way, good or bad....better yet, should it have?

"Let's talk about sex, bay-bee....let's talk about you and me...." I had to smile big time when you mentioned your "Vegas" discussions in your dressing room... Thanks for sharing!

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

A review should offer the public a quick accessment of the work that the reviewer saw on that particular evening. It should provide some background for the piece, so that a reader can determine if it is something they want to see ... spend their discretionary dollars. Of course, no one goes into a production expecting anything less than a success; but a glowing review can sell tickets, particularly when the show is obscure.

Our artistic director refers to "Wonderful Town" as one of the best musicals you've never heard of ... word-of-mouth is going to be the key to our success ... Success with a show like ours (the Tony winner from 1954) allows the theatre to take more risks, to present new musicals, to present revivals of old war-horses, instead of the obvious Oklahoma's, Sound of Music's, etc ...

I believe theatre criticism has its place, but it is a minefield ... Your question isn't naive; it's a great one and bears further inspection. As to my own experience ... When I was reviewing friends, I was aware of that connection, but I was being paid to offer my opinion. My goal was to be honest, but in a positive and constructive way. I left the acid to others.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

That's interesting ... It's not unusual for one or two people to cover the beat for years on end; what I find unusual is that your friend recuses himself from reviewing the shows you're in. You're in so many shows, does he ever get to write? *teasing*. It's an honorable choice and protects your friendship.

I never wrote any kind of opinion piece about a show I was in, but did cover plays and musicals where I knew most of the cast. I focused on the presentation; though I did offer criticism. If I really hated a performance of a friend, I usually didn't mention it ...leading role or not. I've learned that actors rationalize or dismiss negative reviews, agree with the compliments ... but not mentioning them is much more effective. They don't know whether you forgot to mention them or if the work didn't hold up. (Which of course begs the debate ... Is a review really necessary?:)

[theatrecub79.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear about your nose. It would give me enough caution to nix the bit just for the sake of your health. 70% success isn't that bad, but it's not the greatest either...

On critics: I have always found it interested the way things balance out. Here in Cincy, we have two reviewers (one for the daily newpaper, the other for the weekly arts 'zine) that are constantly at odds. Since I've worked for a couple of theatres, it actually annoys me when they go at each other (often including verbal attacks in their columns), yet still have clout in the theatre scene. Ah well...

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

The rivalry .... Do they take shots at each other in their reviews or in their columns? It sounds like they're both childish and insecure. I don't think this behavior is confined to Cincinnati.

The reviewer who I referenced with the 'dead baby' remark was famous for his biting humor. A few years ago, I was sent to review a production of "Gypsy" starring Tyne Daly and was seated near this guy who I also knew socially. We both had our press packets with Tyne's resume with us. He looked at me, leaned across a couple of people and in a loud voice barked, "Hey Neil! Did ya see Tyne's resume?" I said yes. He said, "It says on here that her weight is 127. We both know that's wrong. What do you think? Is it 172 or 217?!" It was one of those remarks that makes you laugh at the sheer gall, not in a good way.

[theatrecub79.livejournal.com]

The rivalry: Usually the weekly arts reviewer will takes shots here and there in his column. The daily reviewer has yet to really do it as she doesn't have a column (as far as I have seen/read). I know it's not a Cincinnati thing :-)

I understand having "biting humor" and can even laugh at it, but sometimes it can go too far and the person making the joke does not realize it. It's rather sad, actually.

[rock-bear.livejournal.com]

Dressing Rooms - probably the only place a homophobic straight guy can ask a gay wardrobe master to examine his piles and tell him if they need make up on them to hide them from the stalls

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Our dressing room is a mix. Two Gay men and one straight ... We seem to be the destination dressing room for fun. During dress rehearsals, I came back from the dinner break and our small room was filled with 15 people watching the first season of "Project Runway" with running commentary. Only in musical theatre:) HUGS!

[elfkat.livejournal.com]

Hope the nose gets better soon, If it happens again you might not only get a broken nose but 2 black eyes and that would be very, very bad. Been there done that don't go there. Is there any way to pad the inside edge of the helmet?

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

We've padded the inside of the hat and covered the seam between the hat and bill with moleskin. We added extra padding after the second incident, but when I put the hat on, I looked like Jiffy Pop popcorn about to burst:) The problem is the hat, but it wouldn't make sense to remove it just to be a better target. There's going to be a change tonight. I'm going in a bit early to rehearse whatever it winds up being. I love doing this show, but am really growing anxious about this moment. I'm game, but this doesn't work. I'm ok this morning .. the swelling has subsided (no black eyes) and no one is around to hear me snore with all of the mouth-breathing, so I'll be fine.

[bruinwi.livejournal.com]

The most venomous review of a show I've been in was for one year's production of "Nutcracker", and that was a direct stab at our choreographer/director. In it, the writer pointed out that the corps failed to maintain a straight line - this was not the dancers' fault, but rather because the choreographer couldn't direct them properly. You get the idea.

Dressing rooms are fun. This last season, we had a number of first-time Party Dads putting on make-up for the first time. While we "old pros" walked them through the process of applying base, highlights, shadows and lines, it occurred to us on more than a few occaisions how completely off the beam we could've directed them. Even so, we still got a couple of, "Are you SURE this is how it goes?" If nothing else, they came out of the experience with a deeper appreciation of why it takes their wives so long to "get their face on".

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Party Dad ... sounds like a great LJ name:) I once visited a website called straightacting.com. In it, you answer questions which rank you from 1 to 10 in terms of butchness ...1 is neanderthal, no one would ever guess you're Gay to 10 ... flamer, Gay with no place to hide. You answer a series of questions to determine your number. I took the quiz and came out a 4. My score was skewed because I had to answer that yes, I had worn make-up and loved show tunes. Hello! It's my career! LOL! Truth is ... after 25 years in the business, I can be fully made up in under 5 minutes:) You really could have played with these rookies' heads when it came to wearing make-up:)

Venomous reviews, which can bitchily entertain, do nothing to elevate art, but they do exist. For instance, take a look at Ben Brantley's first line in the recent New York Times review of the new musical version of "Lord of the Rings". Now, imagine yourself as the producers who just spent $43 million to put it on:)

HUGS, my friend!

[crunchmd.livejournal.com]

I always read reviews, but have learned not to discuss them backstage. I've been fortunate to have been received well over the years, except for one particular review in which my performance was labeled "ham-handed". Ouch. But this was not a surprise to me. I was struggling with the director on how to approach the role. He wanted a very broad interpretation right out of the gate. We clearly didn't agree, as I thought letting the character brood and simmer, building until the final explosive climax would really bring out the dark comedy in the piece. I ended up compromising my performance to keep the peace. I've always told myself that as an actor that I'm only interpreting the director's vision, and if I want my own vision, I should direct my own show. My only thought when reading the review was, "Ham-handed? HA! You should have seen the performance they *wanted* me to give!" But then again, today's reviews are tomorrow's bird cage liners.

This reminds me of a funny line from "Scrambled Feet": "I love your reviews because they're so soft and absorbent".

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

I always read reviews, but have learned not to discuss them backstage. Absolutely! I never discuss them unless someone specifically asks me to. I've usually been the recipient of good reviews too and have agreed with them ...Hehe ... I took a hit from the same critic I referenced in this post and in one of the comments ... It stung a bit at the time; but I was sick at the time and being called gravelly-voiced wasn't really that bad in the grand scheme of things:) I was approaching Officer Lonigan very differently in rehearsal from what has come to be on stage. I was going for more of the sweet-voiced Irish tenor ... that went out the window in the space. It didn't read in a 2200-seat house, so now he's full of vocal bluster and bravura! Great line from "Scrambled Feet"! Any auditions in the offing for you? HUGS!

[crunchmd.livejournal.com]

I've gotten a couple of invites to audition, but the timing was off. I really don't like doing shows in warm weather. Since acting is not my career, I can afford to be choosy. There's been a shift in the Baltimore theatre community this year; new venues and personnel changes. It'll be interesting to see how this pans out. I think this is good, because things have gotten a bit stagnant around here. The same people doing the same shows. Rumor has it that "Urinetown" may be a possibility next season, which has me very excited.

HUGGS!

Nosy! :0)

[tkn1114.livejournal.com]

OMG! Are you serious about that nose? Is it a scratch or is there a band-aid on there? I'd request an adjustment if a band-aid was summnoned! How about if you turn around as if you were suddenly distracted or looking at something when the painting comes down on your head? This way, the sketch is preserved without the painting impacting on your nose? Why does it have to be a frontal hit? A dorsal hit can be funny, too?

Critics = Those who cannot do - only yap. A credible critic is never venomous. Only envious amateurs are, like that Elle editor who sits on Project Runway = a big fat 0 - simply and utterly. How precious was that moment when Santino confronted her accusation of plagerism by asking her to name names of designers he was accused of copying and why. But she could'nt do it and was caught completely off-guard babbling away like an idiot with embarrassing discredibility.

It's different in my field. When I was working in Europe, there once was an Elle editor-in-training who was part of the team sent to review a show at a house I was working for which shall remain nameless. So, she was either feeling important or wanted to impress her boss/team leader that she started flipping through the clothes and air-critiquing the collection, deciding that these pieces could'nt be used in editorials because they did'nt "look like Elle enough" to her and those pieces did'nt match their planned themes for the season and so on... So, the designer whose name *was* the label stopped air-kissing the team leader long enough to hiss the following: "Well, just as well! Because I don't think we have enough samples to send out to you guys this season, anyway, do we, staff?" - This was a hint that if the lead editor did'nt call off the bitch who was trashing the collection - and pronto - she would not be getting her free clothes that season! So, in a Milan minute (as opposed to a NY minute!) the lead editor promptly pulled out a wad of lire faster than you could say "Mama Mia!", shoved it into the critic-in-training's chest with a lighting rod "Wanna get us some coffee right quick, idiot???" kind of glare and off the lady-in-training went. Not a single word was uttered afterwards - flattering or otherwise :0) We all felt complete vindication as we barely contained our chuckles.

See, in the fashion world, critics are not invited back if they're ugly. No backstage access and *definitely* no invitation to the post-show parties if they're assholes. And fashion editors cannot live without those amenities. That's why they wanna become fashion editors in the first place!

I think only those who have done *may* critique. Those who have not = NO! If you can't discuss techniques - as to why it's bad - you're not qualified, I don't care what field it is.

Re: Nosy! :0)

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the great story! You give a glimpse into a world I know little about other than if I like something I see or not.

As to the nose ... It's better tonight, though I had a headache all day. We altered the bit. I don't get hit at all anymore. I was always hit from the back while I was shaking hands with the artist I've granted the blue ribbon to. The hit took place in a split second. I think that the hat was the culprit, though the wardrobe department worked diligently to protect me. We padded it, covered the seam between brim and hat, covered the pin holding the badge into place. No matter what we did, the frame of the hat caught the edge of the hat and slammed it hard on to the bridge of my nose. Last night I was even wearing a bandaid during the number and the blow still set the cut to bleeding. It won't happen any more. The actor playing the artist now slams the painting over his own head. He can competely control that.

HUGS!

LOL!!!

[tkn1114.livejournal.com]

. The artist now slams the painting on his own head - LOL! That's brilliant! I can see that, too. Perfect!

. On critics: Lay people can say whatever they want. But a critic is *supposed* to be an *expert*. So, he has the responsibility of his own professionalism. In the US, this is not always the case cuz anybody and his brother can call themselves a critic, and if they do that long enough, they somehow become one! It's not enough to like or dislike what you see but to also understand it and be able to say why it's good or bad in order to qualify as a credible critic (i.e., I take Michael Kors seriously because what he says makes sense to me from a professional standpoint. OTOH, what that Elle editor on Project Runway says is just useless hot air = 0 value)