Probing Topics

[mrdreamjeans]

 I was all set to join thespian15 this morning at the Minnesota State Fair. I borrowed my neighbor's car and drove to the university, only to discover the University of Minnesota has a football game today. The lot was closed and the shuttle to the Fair was not running! WTF!!! I returned home and texted Jon I wouldn't be coming. I am really upset. I was so looking forward to this final visit to the Fair this year! And I HATE inconveniencing Jon.


All dressed for the Fair and couldn't go!

So much of the environment around me is in flux: Three of my neighbors died in the last month, two of them in their apartments. Last night, the neighbor who often lends me her car was taken to the ER and admitted to the hospital which complicated this morning even further.

Though I love my building and most of my neighbors, I have to look forward ... My reality is, with anticipated rent increases, it will become too expensive for me to live in my current apartment in coming years. So, I've been researching and forming a plan. I will have to move ... But what does that look like? Do I stay in Minnesota? Move to Arkansas or New Mexico?

Unfortunately, you can't base a major decision like this on other people staying put? Such a decision has to be, at its core, your own. I won't return to Texas to live, despite my family there, due to the hatred and crazy ass politics of that state! I wish I had the courage and means to leave it all behind and move to Europe in my remaining years. 

To my surprise, I was the last to find out my twin nephews, currently living in Longview, TX three hours from Little Rock, are moving back to Central Texas. (I was basing my interest in Little Rock in part on my nephews being close by thus honoring a wish by my brother that I move closer to family.)

My brother-from-another-mother texted me last week. He, his husband and daughter are moving to Albuquerque, NM because of the hate-filled climate of Texas. He wants to raise his daughter in a "Blue" state. I can't blame him. Coy's lived in Texas for 40 years and is a measured guy ... suddenly, enough was enough.

Even my healthcare has been in flux. My primary care physician moved to Kansas in March; I chose a new PCP based on the former's recommendation only to be told on Monday the new doctor is out until January on maternity leave; my 9-9 appointment with her was cancelled and rescheduled till January. My medical social worker of 10+ years resigned to take a position with the State. The manager of my building retired July 1st and my employer has taken no steps to replace her. More flux ...

So, instead of spending part of the day with one of my favorite people (Jon) at the State Fair, I am instead typing away with a dog in my lap, pondering my future. If truth be told, as a planner, I don't know how you plan for old age, especially as a gay man with no children or spouse. I didn't expect to be around at this age! Yet here, I am ... I have work tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday, colonoscopy prep on Labor day and a colonoscopy on Tuesday. Probing topics indeed!

Comments

[kaishin108]

Oh your summer has had some issues. I am sorry about those deaths and that you didn't get to go to the State Fair, that is a bummer.

We thought about New Mexico but it sounds like they have a crime problem but what state doesn't these days. If you have some kind of family there, that is a nice reason to go.

We decided we will stay put here in Boise for awhile longer.

I wish you the best, where ever you decide to move to.

Hugs, Helen

[mrdreamjeans]

Oh, I made it to the Fair. It just got screwed up this morning. I went two other times.

I now have five friends who have relocated to Albuquerque and one to Roswell. The problem is, with my skin cancer issues, the climate is way too dry for me. But, you can bet I'll visit as often as possible! My family of choice is relocated there, but all my blood family is in Texas and I despair over the state of the state I grew up in.

I'm just all over the place about my future ... The cost of living, healthcare, taxes on retirement, climate ... singledom ... I know I'm 68, but it's such a conundrum due to our national politics. So many moving parts ...

[kaishin108]

Moving is a very very convoluted decision these days. That is why we will just stay here for a bit. But yeah, rents are SO high...

[mrdreamjeans]

Thanks for your kindness ... decisions, decisions, decisions ... :)

[disneydream06]

I am sorry you weren't able to make it to the fair too. :(
Company might have helped with the heat. Or not. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope I never have to find out what living in a bright Red state is like. :o :o :o
Hugs, Jon

[mrdreamjeans]

Company might have helped indeed ... both of us bitching about the heat! LOL! And here we are today ... cool enough this morning for a jacket.

It's bad enough you have to live in a reddish area of Minnesota. Imagine that on steroids, statewide, and you might come close to Texas.

[disneydream06]

Not quite cool enough for a jacket yet, for me anyway. lol...

Not sure who's worse, Texas or Florida. :o

[mrdreamjeans]

A tie in asshattery status!

[disneydream06]

A tie sounds appropriate. :o

[mrdreamjeans]

With a couple of other states not far behind!

[disneydream06]

Like basically the whole South, the Rust Belt and 80% of the West. :o :o :o

[mrdreamjeans]

The states of New England, New York and Maryland are all blue states.

[disneydream06]

Maine is a little iffy, and Mass keeps electing Repub Governors. :o

[mrdreamjeans]

Off and on, but their senators are reliably Democratic.

[billeyler]

New Mexico???

[mrdreamjeans]

My friends Coy and JohnPaul moved to Albuquerque earlier this week with their five year old Meredith Grace who calls me Uncle Neil. I counted on being able to see them every Christmas in the Austin area (a break from my blood relatives). Aldo moved to NM two years ago, Bill and Jim are there and my friend Maggie and her boyfriend Greg now live in Roswell. I'm casting my gaze that way ... a blue state next to Texas ... dear friends ... My main concern is the climate/water in coming years. I don't do well in a hot, dry climate.

[apparentparadox]

Yep, trying to think about where to move is very difficult, especially these days. One compounding factor that you didn't mention is the whole climate refugee issue. This has been going on for a long time, but it's becoming more obvious. For instance, a sizeable number of people who moved away from New Orleans after Katrina never moved back. People in dry Western states are starting to move to places where there is water. This will become worse over the next couple of years as the states that used to get water from the Colorado river are going to have to cut back on the amount of water they are getting.

Since it is generally people with some money and flexibility who can move, that often leaves a smaller tax base in the areas they fled, which means that governments will have to cut services in the areas that now have a lower tax base.

[mrdreamjeans]

Climate migration is very much a concern in my planning. I'm certain lack of water will become a major issue for NM. My gaze that way from here was because of five friends located there and it's much closer to Texas than Minnesota. I won't go back to Texas to live, but I will continue to make an annual trip at Christmas for family.

Just a lot of contemplation on my part. It's more apparent than ever that I can't count on friends and family to stay put, so moving closer for that reason doesn't hold up.

[cjsmith]

Ouch, no easy answers for sure. And the climate refugee concept you mentioned in one of the comments is also very real. :(

It’s a rough time to be facing the fact of our aging. (Though, I suppose, when wouldn’t be?)

[mrdreamjeans]

Aging is ougher now after the pandemic than ever, I think. I'm mostly retired, so nothing's hold me back from relocating except thoughts of wanting to be closer to friends and family, cost of living and taxes ... and for me with so much skin cancer, climate. Climate migration is key. I have zero interest in moving to a state with water problems.