Planning Ahead, Learning from the Past

[mrdreamjeans]

Thursday began with the cancellation of a semi-annual appointment with my doctor two hours before I was due at the clinic. I adore her, so I tossed off my disappointment and rescheduled in November, on the earliest available date.

It was a long day. I met in the afternoon with my estate attorney to make major changes to my Last Will and Testament and Powers of Attorney. A person no longer in my life was eliminated from all previous documents created in 2011 and replaced by family members.

I spent last evening typing a new list of bequests and final wishes, being very specific in desiring cremation, requesting two memorial services, one in Minneapolis and one in College Station, Texas. I asked a friend here to organize the memorial. He said he would. I asked my family to put together the memorial service in Texas. I requested my services be celebrations filled with music and storytelling, not sad occasions, and I specifically stated I didn't want my services to be held in a church. I requested my cremains be buried in College Station with my mother's and designated who gets what from my estate.

My folks refused to have discussions about their estate and wishes. I didn't understand the delay, except that they simply didn't wish to face the inevitable. Consequently, they left a mess, one we are still sorting out after their deaths in 2013. My sister dealt with the brunt of their lack of planning.

Prior to my mother's death, I spoke to her about my cremains being interred with hers. I asked how she felt about it. After reflecting a few moments, she answered that it would bring her comfort to know I was with her in death. I told my brother and sister about our conversation. I then added, You realize this means the headstone will have to be changed and the following line added: "I told you I was her favorite!" My siblings laughed, as I intended, but both said they knew it was true. Actually, the phrase I've requested on my headstone, other than the usual information, is: "Waiting for an Encore!"

Since I own a home, my attorney put forth three choices: Let my estate go through probate, a more difficult and expensive task for my brother who is my executor; execute a Deed for Transfer which avoids probate and is less expensive to put into place, but would create complications for my brother in selling my home and distributing monies which are to go in equal portions to my four nephews and my niece. (Ross' share goes to his Special Needs Trust. He is not allowed to receive money or property directly.) The third choice is the one I made. I'm creating a Revokable Trust. All of my property goes into a trust. When I pass away, Jeff won't have to deal with probate; he can sell everything and make certain any monies, remaining after debts are satisfied, go to my nephews and niece. Since the Trust is revokable, I can change my mind.

It's a sobering task, but not one to put off. I hope the need for this is 20 years down the road, but better to plan than not. I love my siblings too much to leave them a mess!! I am very happy with my decisions in planning ahead and learning from the past.

Comments

[billeyler]

Very noble and thoughful.