Someone Else's Story
Oct. 26th, 2006 12:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mrdreamjeansFrom time to time a song will come along that hits me with a punch of emotion. I’m man enough to admit that I’ll listen to the lyric, to its soaring melody line and let myself revel in the release, teardrops slowly making a journey down the channels of my face. It happens most often during torchy Broadway ballads. (So, sue me. I’m a sucker for lush orchestrations, over the top belting and a key change or three:) I heard a song on Sirius today that had such an effect. From the musical “Chess”, the title is “Someone Else’s Story”. Beautifully performed by Judy Kuhn, it made me determined to find out more about this modestly successful musical. Before I heard ”Someone Else’s Story” this afternoon, I was only familiar with “Anthem” and “I Know Him So Well” from that score.
Why did the song affect me so? As the last notes subsided, I made a connection between the title and how I’ve lived my life as an actor, a gypsy. I’ve gone theater to theater, contract to contract, city to city for decades, putting on a costume, filling in the details of the imaginary lives of countless characters. It’s made me money; it’s brought me joy. I’ve done it to great success, but the question in my mind is, “Have I done it for so long that my own life feels like a role to be played? Am I authentically living my life or am I taking refuge in play acting? Am I anxious to get back onstage so that I can create art, use my talents? Or am I anxious to escape from the real world where my parents are aging, day-to-day life is messy and the outcome may not be a happy ending?
I’ve always loved my life. I’ve been grateful for the opportunity to travel the world, to discover cities, to make friends who have opened my eyes to possibilities, to move forward through life always learning and loving, to have the ability to open my mouth and make beautiful music. There are times I envy people who know exactly who they are and what they want from life, who are skilled at nesting, who have a nice consistency to their lives such as I’ll never know. I’ve always hoped to find a partner who wanted the excitement ... and the nest ... who would stand beside me as we found our way through the grand adventure of existence. I believe it can still happen. But will it happen if I’m always living “someone else’s story”?
Meanwhile, I’ll focus on the present, make my decisions day to day. I’ll even serve up a steady dose of moving ballads and wallow in the feeling, singing along to “Losing My Mind” from “Follies”, “50 Percent” from “Ballroom”, “I Am What I Am” from “La Cage”, “Not While I’m Around” from “Sweeny Todd” or “Anything But Lonely” from “Aspects of Love”. Maybe, I’ll just add to the canon and write a searing ballad; put it out there; open up my emotional life to investigation, offer others a chance to interpret “someone else’s story”.
Why did the song affect me so? As the last notes subsided, I made a connection between the title and how I’ve lived my life as an actor, a gypsy. I’ve gone theater to theater, contract to contract, city to city for decades, putting on a costume, filling in the details of the imaginary lives of countless characters. It’s made me money; it’s brought me joy. I’ve done it to great success, but the question in my mind is, “Have I done it for so long that my own life feels like a role to be played? Am I authentically living my life or am I taking refuge in play acting? Am I anxious to get back onstage so that I can create art, use my talents? Or am I anxious to escape from the real world where my parents are aging, day-to-day life is messy and the outcome may not be a happy ending?
I’ve always loved my life. I’ve been grateful for the opportunity to travel the world, to discover cities, to make friends who have opened my eyes to possibilities, to move forward through life always learning and loving, to have the ability to open my mouth and make beautiful music. There are times I envy people who know exactly who they are and what they want from life, who are skilled at nesting, who have a nice consistency to their lives such as I’ll never know. I’ve always hoped to find a partner who wanted the excitement ... and the nest ... who would stand beside me as we found our way through the grand adventure of existence. I believe it can still happen. But will it happen if I’m always living “someone else’s story”?
Meanwhile, I’ll focus on the present, make my decisions day to day. I’ll even serve up a steady dose of moving ballads and wallow in the feeling, singing along to “Losing My Mind” from “Follies”, “50 Percent” from “Ballroom”, “I Am What I Am” from “La Cage”, “Not While I’m Around” from “Sweeny Todd” or “Anything But Lonely” from “Aspects of Love”. Maybe, I’ll just add to the canon and write a searing ballad; put it out there; open up my emotional life to investigation, offer others a chance to interpret “someone else’s story”.
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