Romance, Romance
Sep. 24th, 2004 08:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mrdreamjeansI just finished reading a beautifully-written post by SFLonestar. Jim talks about his search for romance in a post called "Last of the Belles". The post mentioned his parents' longstanding marriage and his desire to find love. I found myself answering his post at length, as his family's imprint on that subject hits very close to home. I decided to post my comments to Jim's essay here, as his thoughts made me really dig down deep and decide what I want to happen in my own life. Oddly enough, in a phone conversation this morning, in a different, but tangential way, lowfatmuffin (Bob) and I spoke of similar topics. Thanks Jim and Bob for challenging me to identify how I feel about the search for romantic love. Here are my comments, some of which flowed out unexpectedly:
My parents have been married 53 years and their AOL screen name is also a pairing of their first names. They're in their 70s, so I had to make it something they wouldn't forget:) My brother and sister are both in 20+ year marriages, but my parents' joined-at-the-hip success is something I think we all struggle to live up to. I think it is only natural when growing up with that kind of imprint/example to want to emulate its success and duration.
I've not given up thinking I'll find Mr. Right, instead of Mr. Right Now. I refuse to think that I can't find an honorable, loyal, intelligent and hot man with which to spend my life. After all, I've known two such men and just because the relationships didn't last, doesn't mean that both weren't good choices. Neither relationship was a failure. It simply means they weren't meant to last forever.
I do know what it is to love and be loved in all of the right ways. And - I'm finally ready to perfect what I've learned! LOL! I'm just going to continue being a "hopeful romantic with a playful heart"; I'm going to continue to take emotional risks and not shut down on someone just because they don't appear to be an ideal or complete match. I believe with all of my heart, that there is someone out there for me who will appreciate what I bring to the table and understand the differences between monogamy, monotony and monopoly!
There is nothing wrong in the pursuit of romantic love, but recognizing it when it is offered, being open to all possibilities, accepting the notion that you deserve romantic love are all things to think about. I sometimes think I put blinders on.... that I am so determined to be the one to initiate romance, that I inadvertently reject it, or don't recognize it, if the idea comes from someone else. Worthiness then becomes a question....Or is it simply a question of perversity? Do I only believe in romantic love if I am the pursuer or aggressor? I'll have to think hard about that....
Keep the faith, Jim; you too Bob and so will I! We will find lasting love and romance if we just don't get too attached to the search:)
My parents have been married 53 years and their AOL screen name is also a pairing of their first names. They're in their 70s, so I had to make it something they wouldn't forget:) My brother and sister are both in 20+ year marriages, but my parents' joined-at-the-hip success is something I think we all struggle to live up to. I think it is only natural when growing up with that kind of imprint/example to want to emulate its success and duration.
I've not given up thinking I'll find Mr. Right, instead of Mr. Right Now. I refuse to think that I can't find an honorable, loyal, intelligent and hot man with which to spend my life. After all, I've known two such men and just because the relationships didn't last, doesn't mean that both weren't good choices. Neither relationship was a failure. It simply means they weren't meant to last forever.
I do know what it is to love and be loved in all of the right ways. And - I'm finally ready to perfect what I've learned! LOL! I'm just going to continue being a "hopeful romantic with a playful heart"; I'm going to continue to take emotional risks and not shut down on someone just because they don't appear to be an ideal or complete match. I believe with all of my heart, that there is someone out there for me who will appreciate what I bring to the table and understand the differences between monogamy, monotony and monopoly!
There is nothing wrong in the pursuit of romantic love, but recognizing it when it is offered, being open to all possibilities, accepting the notion that you deserve romantic love are all things to think about. I sometimes think I put blinders on.... that I am so determined to be the one to initiate romance, that I inadvertently reject it, or don't recognize it, if the idea comes from someone else. Worthiness then becomes a question....Or is it simply a question of perversity? Do I only believe in romantic love if I am the pursuer or aggressor? I'll have to think hard about that....
Keep the faith, Jim; you too Bob and so will I! We will find lasting love and romance if we just don't get too attached to the search:)
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