Scrutinizing
Dec. 12th, 2004 09:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mrdreamjeansScrutinizing - “... means touching what you’re looking for with your eyes ...”
I’m reading the most extraordinary novel called “The Man Who Fell in Love with the Moon” by Tom Spanbauer. The book is so entirely original... the pages filled with provocative thoughts, rich language, sensual and erotic imagery... that it virtually sings its message to me. I’ve spent the week often welled up with emotion, in awe of the writing and the feelings it evokes in me.
At times, I've been reading passages out loud to the men in my dressing room. There is now a waiting list for the book once I've finished. I’ve only felt this way about three other books: the first “Tales of the City”; Anne Rice’s “Cry to Heaven”; and Alan Hollingshurst’s “The Swimming Pool Library”. You know the feeling... that you’ve found a book you’ll keep forever... quote from...savor its language... earmark passages to return to and study. Marvel at its artistry.
The title of my journal here on Live Journal is “Dreams in a Drawer” and MrDreamJeans is my name. The decision to designate this journal as such was spontaneous, but apt. The names flew out of the air at me, a bit of cosmic inspiration. To know Neil, is to understand that I spend a lot of time wondering how to fullfill my dreams and those of my loved ones.
I often say that dreams are simply goals without plans. I tend to be a planner and a dreamer. I even use the term “cosmic cheerleader” which I picked up from lowfatmuffin (Bob) here on live journal. If someone important to me tells me they have a dream, I want to do what I can to make that dream a reality. I believe that dreams can come true. I figure the planning and creation of goals... the trying to make dreams come true... is a good use of my time, my brain, my heart...my life.
Spanbauer has a passage in his book that has helped me define/focus the purpose of this journal. I have read and re-read it several times since I began his novel. It’s on page 45. (I’ve even memorized the pages of my favorite excerpts:) Filter his words through what you know of me and you will have a better understanding of what makes me tick:
“Smoke and wind and fire are all things you can feel but can’t touch. Memories and dreams are like that too. They’re what this world is made up of. There’s only a very short time that we get hair and teeth and put on red cloth and have bones and skin and look out eyes. Not for long. Some folks longer than others. If you’re lucky, you’ll get to be the one who tells the story: how the eyes have seen, the hair has blown, the caress the skin has felt, how the bones have ached...’What the human heart is like...’ ‘How the devil called and we did not answer.’ ‘How we answered.’ ”
I aspire to be the one who tells the story. I aspire to let the people in my life know that I love them each and every time we speak. I aspire to never leave things that are important unspoken. As the characters in “The Man Who Fell in Love with the Moon” often say, we each have our ”human-being” story ..."The sex story is only one of the ways that human beings can touch each other.”
I intend to continue to scrutinize people, places and events, to gather and gain any knowledge I might be able to retain and to understand and use it for a greater good. As the character Dellwood Barker says, “... first you make the story happen in your head and then sooner or later the world will tag along.” That sounds like a wonderful definition of a dream, a dream to be stored in a drawer and then offered to the world.
I thank my friends here on live journal (a special nod to Nashobabear, Les, for introducing the book to me) for providing glimpses of their diverse and inspiring "human-being" stories. You teach me and enrich my life. Aren't we all lucky to be given the opportunity to tell our stories? Meanwhile, I'll be out there "touching what I'm looking for with my eyes."
I’m reading the most extraordinary novel called “The Man Who Fell in Love with the Moon” by Tom Spanbauer. The book is so entirely original... the pages filled with provocative thoughts, rich language, sensual and erotic imagery... that it virtually sings its message to me. I’ve spent the week often welled up with emotion, in awe of the writing and the feelings it evokes in me.
At times, I've been reading passages out loud to the men in my dressing room. There is now a waiting list for the book once I've finished. I’ve only felt this way about three other books: the first “Tales of the City”; Anne Rice’s “Cry to Heaven”; and Alan Hollingshurst’s “The Swimming Pool Library”. You know the feeling... that you’ve found a book you’ll keep forever... quote from...savor its language... earmark passages to return to and study. Marvel at its artistry.
The title of my journal here on Live Journal is “Dreams in a Drawer” and MrDreamJeans is my name. The decision to designate this journal as such was spontaneous, but apt. The names flew out of the air at me, a bit of cosmic inspiration. To know Neil, is to understand that I spend a lot of time wondering how to fullfill my dreams and those of my loved ones.
I often say that dreams are simply goals without plans. I tend to be a planner and a dreamer. I even use the term “cosmic cheerleader” which I picked up from lowfatmuffin (Bob) here on live journal. If someone important to me tells me they have a dream, I want to do what I can to make that dream a reality. I believe that dreams can come true. I figure the planning and creation of goals... the trying to make dreams come true... is a good use of my time, my brain, my heart...my life.
Spanbauer has a passage in his book that has helped me define/focus the purpose of this journal. I have read and re-read it several times since I began his novel. It’s on page 45. (I’ve even memorized the pages of my favorite excerpts:) Filter his words through what you know of me and you will have a better understanding of what makes me tick:
“Smoke and wind and fire are all things you can feel but can’t touch. Memories and dreams are like that too. They’re what this world is made up of. There’s only a very short time that we get hair and teeth and put on red cloth and have bones and skin and look out eyes. Not for long. Some folks longer than others. If you’re lucky, you’ll get to be the one who tells the story: how the eyes have seen, the hair has blown, the caress the skin has felt, how the bones have ached...’What the human heart is like...’ ‘How the devil called and we did not answer.’ ‘How we answered.’ ”
I aspire to be the one who tells the story. I aspire to let the people in my life know that I love them each and every time we speak. I aspire to never leave things that are important unspoken. As the characters in “The Man Who Fell in Love with the Moon” often say, we each have our ”human-being” story ..."The sex story is only one of the ways that human beings can touch each other.”
I intend to continue to scrutinize people, places and events, to gather and gain any knowledge I might be able to retain and to understand and use it for a greater good. As the character Dellwood Barker says, “... first you make the story happen in your head and then sooner or later the world will tag along.” That sounds like a wonderful definition of a dream, a dream to be stored in a drawer and then offered to the world.
I thank my friends here on live journal (a special nod to Nashobabear, Les, for introducing the book to me) for providing glimpses of their diverse and inspiring "human-being" stories. You teach me and enrich my life. Aren't we all lucky to be given the opportunity to tell our stories? Meanwhile, I'll be out there "touching what I'm looking for with my eyes."
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no subject
Date: 2004-12-12 07:46 am (UTC)Also thanks for the book recommendation. I will pick it up.
Hugs and good luck on the rest of your tour.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-12 09:06 am (UTC)I've already kinda felt that about you. I think I'm slowly working my way in a similar direction - all because I got myself in a position where I can actually help others in any way I can - within reason of course. :-)
I'll definately look into that book. Sounds like I can glean a thing or two from it.
Also, in an earlier post, I think from last week, I wrote how I'm realizing I'm at a stage to begin rethinking my video training background and can actually make it more of a reality than in previous years for the first time. Also, I am thinking of putting a whole different spin to it than my original goal/dream. It's all way to early to know exactly but part of it will evolve spontaniously as I see how things go from day to day.
You, and others are why I love LJ so much. I am learning new things every day and often uncounsiously, it's making me a better person in the process.
Just being able to offer a nearby bed for John is but one example of my reaching out and helping others.
You are definately someone worth getting to know.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-12 09:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-12 09:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-12 07:32 pm (UTC)Reading and dreaming
Date: 2004-12-12 09:38 pm (UTC)Thanks for sharing your dreams!
Re: Reading and dreaming
Date: 2004-12-13 04:13 pm (UTC)I'm glad to know the info about the Radio City Spectacular; it's a shame they aren't using live musicians like yourself in the pit. I did Six Flags when I was growing up and performed to a click track; I was singing live. It's dicey when that track gets out of whack or quits...ah...the sounds of silence:)
Radio City Spectacular
Date: 2004-12-13 10:17 pm (UTC)