Not too long at all! This is the kind of response I was hoping for ... the dynamic completely interests me. I've always found it much easier to connect with women on a friendship or emotional level.
Until the past five years, my male friendships have been complicated by sexual overtones; I wouldn't let anyone close if I felt there couldn't be a connection without sex involved ... sort of a damaged response to not knowing how to connect without sex as the first course on the menu to friendship. I didn't know how to be close to another gay man without it being sexual first.
Earlier on, I also had to struggle and overcome homophobic thoughts. I had a tendency to push gay men away who I felt were effeminate or hyper-masculine, the extremes, questioning their authenticity. I've learned a lot about myself in the 4.5 years I've been celibate. I don't make those judgments ... well, not nearly as often as I once did:)
WIth women, I feel I can completely be myself and have a tendency to be the best version of me. I am very affectionate and emotionally accessible, all about communication. Recently, I've been able to be that way with men, too ... but, it's always been that way with my friendships with women.
Thanks for letting me get to know you a bit better through your response!
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Date: 2010-11-06 03:16 pm (UTC)Until the past five years, my male friendships have been complicated by sexual overtones; I wouldn't let anyone close if I felt there couldn't be a connection without sex involved ... sort of a damaged response to not knowing how to connect without sex as the first course on the menu to friendship. I didn't know how to be close to another gay man without it being sexual first.
Earlier on, I also had to struggle and overcome homophobic thoughts. I had a tendency to push gay men away who I felt were effeminate or hyper-masculine, the extremes, questioning their authenticity. I've learned a lot about myself in the 4.5 years I've been celibate. I don't make those judgments ... well, not nearly as often as I once did:)
WIth women, I feel I can completely be myself and have a tendency to be the best version of me. I am very affectionate and emotionally accessible, all about communication. Recently, I've been able to be that way with men, too ... but, it's always been that way with my friendships with women.
Thanks for letting me get to know you a bit better through your response!
HUGS!