mrdreamjeans: (Neil B)
[personal profile] mrdreamjeans
New York rehearsals have ended. We performed a “gypsy run-through” for an invited audience this afternoon and the performance went exceedingly well. We were told to treat the run-through as just another rehearsal, but when 150 of your peers show up, many of them currently performing on Broadway, any semblance of a casual approach goes right out the window. It was definitely a performance!

Our last week of rehearsals has been in a new theatre space at 49th and 8th Avenue. Hal Prince insisted on special lighting for the run-through; we used an electronic keyboard and drums, placed chairs and benches to suggest various furniture, the coffin, the balcony and other set pieces. Hal spoke to the audience, introduced Larry Fuller, Kim Jordan and the leads; we took our seats and bam - the show began.

I love the introduction of an audience into the process, as suddenly you understand what elements of the material they respond to, get a feeling for where the laughs might land and where there might be applause. “Evita” is not staged to stop for applause except at the end of “Buenes Aires” and “The Money Keeps Rolling In”; even the powerful “A New Argentina” has a couple of false endings.

“Evita” has always been about making political statements and encouraging, no, demanding that the audience think about the manipulation of the voting public by politicians. Twenty-five years after it’s theatrical debut, I believe the subject has never been more timely. We received a standing ovation from the audience and the feedback was that this might be the best company of “Evita” put together since the original... and perhaps a stronger singing ensemble than any currently on Broadway... pretty heady words.

Touring performers are often referred to as “gypsies”, as their work takes them all over the country; we’re “wanderers” if you will. Gypsies have a wonderful opportunity to meet folks all around the country and the tours engender many long-term friendships through the sharing of the work and the experiences, both good and bad, on the road. I was extremely happy to see many long time friends from previous productions at the run-through.

I often wonder what my career might have been if I had not left NYC in 1985. I haven’t been based in New York since then. No agent wants to represent an actor who isn’t readily available, no matter the credentials. I’ve never been happy in New York, preferring a more affordable, less driven lifestyle elsewhere, so the jury is still out on my choices. Did I sabotage my career or just make a different choice, one where family and friends were a higher priority? I know that I wasn’t ready for success in my twenties or thirties. The question is.. is success on this "stage" still a priority?

Several of my friends have careers that have sky-rocketed, and believe me, there are days when I am envious of their opportunities, but never their success. I understand that success in the theatre, with talent a given, is often about perseverance and luck. I’ve had my successes, but in those solitary low moments (when I’m weary), I admit to sometimes playing “what if” with my career. Such moments often follow the excitement of a day where I get more compliments and positive feedback than one man can ask for. On a day like today, the old ambition and drive creep in and I begin to wonder... what if I had stayed here.

For example, in today’s audience were my friends Sandy Joseph, Christine in “Phantom” on Broadway; Julie Schmidt and Marilyn Caskey, respectively, Carlotta and Madame Giry in the same show; Beth Nackley a ballerina in the Broadway “Phantom”; Ray McLeod (Wonderful Town) and Donna Marie Asbury and Greg Butler from “Chicago”. I still have a picture of Greg, a big muscular tatooed African-American dancer, in the blonde Eva wig and white dress, a Christmas pose taken during the 1992-94 "Evita" National Tour:)

With each of these actors, I shared moments on the road... important life memories... the ups and downs of rollercoaster careers... the sadness when they missed their spouses and the joyful reunions when loved ones came to visit. I am completely happy for the upward trajectory of their careers; they are my peers and I feel like I belong beside them. But will I get my opportunity? Only time will tell... I may be weary... but I never get sick of trying...

Tomorrow night we leave for Waterbury, CT and begin seven days of “ten-out-of-twelves”, teching the show and doing two performances for invited audiences. With the move comes the addition of the sets, microphones, the 14-piece orchestra that is going to travel with us; make-up, lights, costumes... all of the layers that must be added before we’re ready for our opening. We make our first public performance in Boston on Election Day and officially open the tour on November 5.

I want to thank my Live Journal friends for their loving words of encouragement and support during the rehearsal process and send special hugs to John_NYC and his partner Chip, to VernNYC and to Tim (gotmoof). Sharing special moments in the past three weeks in NYC with you made my time here a little less lonely and enhanced the quality of this experience in the Big Apple. So - “Let’s here it for the Rainbow Tour. It’s been an incredible success”... So Far!

Date: 2004-10-21 10:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gotmoof.livejournal.com
Well, at least things went well with the run through!!

Date: 2004-10-21 10:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] furfairy.livejournal.com
Do you know Leslie Giammanco?

Date: 2004-10-21 10:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ciddyguy.livejournal.com
Neil,

I love your posts and being able to live vicariously through your posts this tour and the rehearsals.

Just keep us abreast of changes to the touring schedule when you can, or provide us a link to go to would be nice.

I hope John and I can come see you in Evita during this run, and perhaps meet you at some point.

I don't know about the others here on LJ, but I see you as a treasure to get to know, and hopefully in person some day.

Take care and keep us abreast of things when you can.

Date: 2004-10-21 10:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dr-scott.livejournal.com
Have you loved? Have you done work you're proud of? Have you treated the people you met along the way with kindness? The I think you've done very well.

All of us who have ever been at the fringes of a "glamorous" community have our wonderings -- if I had done this and this and this instead of what I did do, I could have been famous, rich, popular, gone down in history, and so forth and so on. But if we had had that kind of drive and succeeded in that way, going against our natural inclinations to obtain big-league success, then what would we have? The people who "make it" and then crack up spectacularly are legion. I think you should be proud of yourself.

What if....?

Date: 2004-10-22 01:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bruinwi.livejournal.com
Neil:

You can drive yourself crazy with this question, and in the end, it really isn't worth the angst.

You don't specify why you left NYC in '85, but I'm willing to bet it was based on a decision you had to make. If it involved friends and/or family in Texas, I'd say you made the right choice.

It's also never fair to compare your career and choices against those of others. They've made choices, good or bad, to get where they are, and I have no doubt that many of them are looking at you, your career, your choices and friends and feeling twinges of doubt, and envy.

The grass is always greener...and too much bullshit will kill even the best lawn.

You've done well. You have no reason to doubt yourself, your choices, or your talent. We're all proud of you.

Date: 2004-10-22 04:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tbone1961.livejournal.com
Just some extra HUGZ!!!

Date: 2004-10-22 05:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ex-nashobabe711.livejournal.com
Best wishes, and bon voyage. Naturally I am arriving in NYC only moments after you depart...

Oh, What a Circus

Date: 2004-10-22 06:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crunchmd.livejournal.com
Your posting is very similar to one I've written in my head for many years. I was encouraged to move to NYC after graduation, but didn't feel ready, emotionally. Did I make the right decision? Yes, I think so. I'm not sure I would still love to perform if I depended on it for income. So doing local stage and film work resolves the 'itch' ......temporarily. If you had stayed in NYC, you might not be the performer you are today and still have a deep, genuine love of the art.

Alas, I'll be in Boston this weekend so our paths will not cross this time. But I'm looking forward to seeing you in DC this spring. Enjoy the Rainbow Tour!

Date: 2004-10-22 06:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
..and with your birthday visit. I really enjoyed seeing the two shows with you, running around with friends.... just spending time. Hope to see you near Christmas! Thanks again for my present! Hugs!

Date: 2004-10-22 06:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
I believe so. I think our paths crossed on Phantom in the late 1990s if I'm thinking of the right person.

Date: 2004-10-22 06:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
Thanks John! I must add that you sound much happier since you've had someone come into your life...a lot more balanced. I wish you happiness!

Date: 2004-10-22 06:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
The answer to all three questions is a resounding yes. My life is filled with the ghosts of actors who aren't with us any longer, so I believe you make very valid points. I am proud of my work. I just wanted to acknowledge to myself and to my friends that I'm not immune to the lure of drive and ambition, particularly when I am in an environment where great success is possible. By recognizing them, I think I better learn to manage those moments. Thanks for your insightful thoughts. Hugs!

Re: What if....?

Date: 2004-10-22 07:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
I left NYC in 1985 because I kept getting told that I would be perfect for certain roles in another 10 years. I remember thinking... what do I doing that decade. At that time in my life, it was about being chosen for roles, not chorus. Of course, I now understand it is about being a respected working professional, not celebrity and ambition.

I went home on a visit for my birthday and was interviewed by a local newspaper; at the end of the interview, I had agreed to go to work for them. I intended to stay there a year and recover from the intensity of pursuing theatre in NY; I stayed 5 1/2 years, finding that I loved the work and the people. Also, the editor, Wilma, became my mentor. She allowed me to continue to pursue theatre in Houston as long as I my met my writing deadlines.

I was able to perform in 24 shows during that period; in fact that's how I met Larry Fuller who has brought me into NYC for these tours of "Evita". Somehow, other than to rehearse, I've never made it back to living here.

As always, you make your points succinctly. I appreciate your words and support!

Date: 2004-10-22 07:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
Extra hugs accepted and welcomed!

Date: 2004-10-22 07:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
Ah, yes! But don't forget I arrive in Boston on Halloween and am there through November 16. Surely, we can arrange a meeting or two! See you then!

Re: Oh, What a Circus

Date: 2004-10-22 07:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
I have every intention of enjoying this experience to the fullest! I'm sorry I'll miss you in Boston, but hope to see you next year in Washington, DC with a new president in office:) Hugs!

Date: 2004-10-22 08:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ciddyguy.livejournal.com
Thanks so much dear.

I'm glad I'm coming across happier and more balanced. I guess that's a good sign eh??? :-)


Be well.

Date: 2004-10-22 08:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] furfairy.livejournal.com
Yep it would have been Phantom. She's the last coach/teacher I worked with before I threw in the towel and moved back to CA. Great lady.

Date: 2004-10-22 10:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] excessor.livejournal.com
All of us hit this question from time to time. You already know that there are many ways to measure success. Listen to your heart: if your successes to date aren't enough, you probably know what to do. From my vantage point, no one could claim that you've been a failure.

I love reading about your work. I hope you can continue writing about it, and I hope it's not too cliché to hope you “Break a leg”

Date: 2004-10-22 06:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trulygrateful.livejournal.com
It's hard to believe it's been three weeks already - guess I'm getting more blonde in my old age!

It was verrrrry nice getting to meet you, if even just for that one night, and I certainly hope our paths do cross again in the future, whether it is here in New York or in some other place.

You're a man of great talent, voice (and looks!) with a heart as big as Texas and a mind as free as the wind.

Like everyone else here, Chip and I look forward to reading about your experiences as you traverse this country back and forth performing in "Evita."

Big hugs from the big apple!

xoxo
John

Date: 2004-10-23 07:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
I'll continue to write:) I don't feel like a failure, but I do like to use this forum to ponder my strengths and weaknesses, to identify those elements in my life where I could make improvements, to puncture my conceits, to determine how I feel about a myriad of issues and subjects, to share my joy when good things come my way. I gain a lot of insight just by the process and input from friends such as yourself.

I enjoy your posts about your home, workouts, the "cult", etc. and am very happy you came into my life this year, so please continue to find time to write too:)

Date: 2004-10-23 07:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com
Thanks for the compliments. I'm not sure I can live up to them, but I'll try:) You missed a fun evening of two-steppin', but it was nice to have an opportunity to get to know Chip a bit more through that activity! Keep in touch!

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