Singer Humor ..
Oct. 17th, 2008 09:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mrdreamjeansI received these bits of humor from a friend with whom I shared the stage in "Phantom of the Opera". I'm certain he found the jokes hilarious, as he's a Bass. I'll give him a virtual smack upside the head later! LOL! Enjoy!
Ten tenors and a baritone were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest. Grasping the rope as tightly as they could, as a group they realized they couldn't all hold on much longer; they decided that one of the party would have to let go. If that didn't happen, the rope would break under their combined weight, and they would all perish. For an agonizing few moments no-one volunteered. Finally the baritone gave a truly touching speech saying he would sacrifice himself to save the lives of the others. The tenors were so moved, they all applauded....
Q: Why are soprano jokes all one-liners?
A: So tenors can understand them.
Q: Did you hear about the female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower end of the scale.
A: She was known as the deep C diva.
Q: How late does the tenor sing?
A: Oh, about half a beat behind the conductor.
Q: How many baritones does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six--one to change it and five to keep the tenor from hogging the light.
Q: What did the tenor get on his IQ test?
A: Drool.
Q: What do you say to a soprano at the door?
A: It doesn't matter what you say, she still won't know when to come in.
There were two people walking down the street. One was a musician. The other didn't have any money either.
A man parks his car in a rough part of town with two accordions on the back seat, forgetting to lock the back door. When he returns, there are three accordions.
Ten tenors and a baritone were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest. Grasping the rope as tightly as they could, as a group they realized they couldn't all hold on much longer; they decided that one of the party would have to let go. If that didn't happen, the rope would break under their combined weight, and they would all perish. For an agonizing few moments no-one volunteered. Finally the baritone gave a truly touching speech saying he would sacrifice himself to save the lives of the others. The tenors were so moved, they all applauded....
Q: Why are soprano jokes all one-liners?
A: So tenors can understand them.
Q: Did you hear about the female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower end of the scale.
A: She was known as the deep C diva.
Q: How late does the tenor sing?
A: Oh, about half a beat behind the conductor.
Q: How many baritones does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six--one to change it and five to keep the tenor from hogging the light.
Q: What did the tenor get on his IQ test?
A: Drool.
Q: What do you say to a soprano at the door?
A: It doesn't matter what you say, she still won't know when to come in.
There were two people walking down the street. One was a musician. The other didn't have any money either.
A man parks his car in a rough part of town with two accordions on the back seat, forgetting to lock the back door. When he returns, there are three accordions.
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no subject
Date: 2008-10-17 03:31 pm (UTC)Speaking of musical jokes,
I turned on PBS the other night and they were showing re-runs of the Lawrence Welk Show . . .
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Date: 2008-10-17 03:47 pm (UTC)There is whole set of band/orchestra jokes as well. Apparently no one likes the viola and there are hundreds of jokes about it.
One of my favorites comes from a friend who once aspired to being in a rock band:
Q. How do you know that a drummer is knocking at your front door?
A. Because the knock slowly speeds up.
It still makes me laugh.
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Date: 2008-10-17 03:51 pm (UTC)The other ones I don't get.
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Date: 2008-10-17 03:55 pm (UTC)He can't swing and doesn't know what the slide is for!
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Date: 2008-10-17 04:06 pm (UTC)Hugs!
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Date: 2008-10-17 04:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-17 04:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-17 04:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-17 04:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-17 04:28 pm (UTC)Okay ... anyone reading this alto's comment .. Let's find some material! :)
HUGS!
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Date: 2008-10-17 04:32 pm (UTC)Tenors don't have hair on their backs.
From http://www.musicalwarehouse.co.uk/musjoke.htm
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Date: 2008-10-17 04:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-17 04:34 pm (UTC)Musical Humor
Date: 2008-10-17 05:32 pm (UTC)Our 30th Anniversary BCPA Kickoff Party is this Saturday Afternoon at Meteor. 4-6pm.
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Date: 2008-10-17 05:45 pm (UTC)Re: Musical Humor
Date: 2008-10-17 05:46 pm (UTC)Re: Musical Humor
Date: 2008-10-17 06:29 pm (UTC)Skip Party, Dinner with DTP and Concert.
hmmm. i am going to have say ...Pass.
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Date: 2008-10-17 06:35 pm (UTC)Tossing a banjo in the dumpster without hitting the sides.
And Sarah Palin ruined my favorite singer joke:
What's the difference between a soprano and a pit bull?
Jewelry
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Date: 2008-10-17 07:15 pm (UTC)Chortle!
Hugs! :)
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Date: 2008-10-17 07:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-17 09:26 pm (UTC)Tenor: Yes....it must be tough, singing those same 3-4 notes over, and over, and over, and over...
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Date: 2008-10-17 10:28 pm (UTC)I know I have to catch up on your recent posts...
Re: Musical Humor
Date: 2008-10-18 01:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-18 01:35 am (UTC)Ya'll were in your 30's, right? hehehe *ducking*
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Date: 2008-10-18 01:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-18 01:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-18 01:37 am (UTC)You know .. I learned to read the bass clef when I played the trombone .. but I always think in the treble clef when I'm singing ...
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Date: 2008-10-18 01:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-18 02:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-18 05:17 pm (UTC)Hugs!
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Date: 2008-10-19 03:46 am (UTC)Hugs.
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Date: 2008-10-19 12:16 pm (UTC)HUGS!