Shocking News

[mrdreamjeans]

I was shocked to read that my LJ buddy rock_bear died this week in London. I just heard the news a couple of minutes ago when I was reading the journal of bearhedded in Seattle. Russ was a costumer/wardrobe superviser for many tours around England and in London. We often commented in each other's journals because we shared a great love for theatre and made our living in it. I read his post on January 12; suddenly, he's gone.

Russ had a wonderfully subversive sense of humor, lived life on his own terms, was a unique man. This is yet another example of how a virtual friendship can be so very meaningful. I feel his loss so tangibly this morning and it is hard to comprehend that his voice has been silenced. If anyone finds out more specific information about his death, please let me know. This is unspeakably sad ....

Comments

[terpsichord.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear about your friend's death.

I lost one of my LJ friends this past summer; he was someone I'd friended just a day or two after starting my journal, and I'd come to really value him as a source of laughter and inspiration in my life. It's amazing how losing someone you've never met face to face can create such a void. One of the greatest things about our modern times, to be sure.

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, Neil. You're in my thoughts, along with all the others touched by his passing.

[bear-left.livejournal.com]

My deepest condolences as well.

[tinman11201.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, it must be shocking to find out something like that online.

[clarkelane.livejournal.com]

I share your sadness. Russ was a great soul. Be well.

[clarkelane.livejournal.com]

I love that you're using one of my paintings as a user pic. cheers, Pete

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Thanks, my friend .. I can't begin to explain my connection to Russ. He was one of the few people who could make me laugh out loud in his comments, especially when I was going through the awful hell that was being an unexpected caregiver. He chimed in on my theatre posts and reminded me that I was still relevant while I was struggling with being away from everything I had known for 25 years. He was the first to tell me bluntly and pointedly that I was losing my optimism and sense of self through that ordeal. I listened. I've worked hard to make changes. I'm a work in progress, but am in a much happier place. Yet, I never met him .... So very odd ...

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

It is shocking. It makes me very aware, that though much of my friends list overlaps, it isn't always the case. I am finding out way after the fact. It underscores my relative isolation ...though in typical Neil style, I have a list created for my loved ones to call if something unexpected should happen to me. I can't even begin to explain the close connection to anyone who doesn't blog on the internet.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I am sorry for your loss too ....

I just can't believe it ... Take care of yourself ...

Hugs ...

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

It's amazing how losing someone you've never met face to face can create such a void.

A great truth, my friend ....

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

*sigh* ... Thanks, so very much ... It makes me even more determined to meet people like yourself from my friends list. You enrich my existence ... bring value, knowledge and kindness to my life. Hugs ...

[macduff131.livejournal.com]

i am so sorry for your loss...*hugs*

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

How to explain feeling so bad about someone I never met? I can't. It feels like it would if you were hurt ... I haven't met you personally, but it would be very real and meaningful because of our connection here ....

HUGS!

[tinman11201.livejournal.com]

I understand. Several people on my friends list (you are one of them) I have never met in person, but I feel a close connection to because we have shared our thoughts and there is an empathy of minds going on that feels stronger sometimes than the actual friendships I have locally. Our minds and thoughts are powerful things and sometimes sharing that without the foils of "real life" in person can cause us to go deeper in a "thought" friendship than a casual "in-person" friendship where you don't get to share those things.

[macduff131.livejournal.com]

i know exactly what you mean...

[clarkelane.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I share your disbelief. Hard to believe that the loss of a correspondent can feel so profoundly sad... I guess it's a nw age.

[bear-left.livejournal.com]

Maybe one could say that you did meet Russ, just not in the flesh? There are so very many kinds of relationships, far more than we ever learned about growing up, that maybe there's something to be said for this new kind of intimacy that's not the same as meeting in person but is still real all the same?

He made you laugh and he made you think - there's a a lovely testimony right there to what he meant to you, and how in some sense, you did meet, of a sorts.

Namaste, Neil.

[quietdanmn.livejournal.com]

My sincere sympathy at this time of loss.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Well, this left me a bit teary eyed. I thank you for articulating what I could not.

Big hugs, my friend ...

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Dan ... It just makes me so aware of my mortality and that of my friends ... For instance, I would hope your sister would know to contact me if anything happened to you where you couldn't let me know. Our friendship means so much to me.

I am just so bewildered that Russ' death, the death of a man I never met, is hitting me so hard. Part of it is being a feeling, caring man, but there are so many who knew him better, were closer to him. Yet, in the end, it is the loss of someone who meant something to me.

HUGS!

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

You are correct. I know that I feel things intensely, sometimes am too serious in person and it can be inappropriate in a casual out-to-have-fun setting. Russ brought laughter into my life when it was so badly needed. I have the feeling that Jim, you and I will have a strong connection in person too; but till then, your comments and willingness to go beyond the superficial are so very welcome and inspiring.

HUGS!

Disbelief that a creative soul is gone ...

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

New age or not, no matter the vehicle of communication, what is key is that we continue to reach out and touch each other's lives in meaningful ways, that we continue to seek out contact with like-minded individuals, make certain no one is invisible because of circumstances, distance or the very isolation of our existence.

Big HUGS!

[bearfuz.livejournal.com]

Wow. I never followed Russ's blog, so I was (frankly) only aware of him in passing, such as when I saw his comments on your page. So sorry to hear about this. Hugs!

[anziulewicz.livejournal.com]

I'm so very sorry for your loss, Neil. I looked at his LJ: Last entry just a week ago, no signs of trouble. It's a sobering reminder of how tenuous life can be. I know that isn't much comfort to you. In any case, I'll keep you in my thoughts, babe.

Rockbear.

[madamemish.livejournal.com]

Hi sweetie, This is Mish here. I'm afraid that I was the one who found Russ on Thursday night. He died alone but comfortingly on his sofa in front of the TV. He had not replied to any calls for a few days and so I went round to his flat - in Nottingham - to let myself in with my key. Unfortunately the flat was locked from the inside and so I had to call the police to break in.
The funeral will not be for a while as obviously in these circumstances there will have to be an inquiry.
He was my best friend and I miss him so and I am just finding out from so many different LJ people how popular he was. I have been at his flat today having a bit of a tidy up (ie, geting rid of some of the less suitable videos and magazines!) and just felt overwhelmed by his absence.
There's a big bear-sized hole in the world now.
Mish
My number is 07887 906 701 if you would like to talk anytime.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

I'll say it again .. I can't explain to people who don't blog how or why Russ had an impact on my life. We never met, but our interactions were meaningful. Just you remember how important John and you are to me! I can't say it enough!

HUGS!

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Chuck! It's the same kind of feeling I would have if you suddenly disappeared from my life. We haven't met, but we "know" each other.

HUGS!

Re: Rockbear.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Mish, thanks for reaching out to a stranger, when it is you who should be comforted. Just know that Russ came into my life when I was touring in "Evita" in 2005. We shared a love of theatre and an appreciation for each other as professionals. He was unique to my experience. He was kind, honest, direct, a bit of a rabble-rouser in his comments to my posts. I will miss him and regret from here forward that I never got to meet him in person.

His presence in my life was meaningful and his death a great loss. He is somewhere better now, nodding in approval that you found him, protected his privacy and have taken the time to reach out to those people saddened by his death. I have a Mish of my own and your actions make me appreciate and love her all the more. Thank you, thank you. I am so sorry for your loss. Take good care of your heart.

Hugs, Neil

Re: Disbelief that a creative soul is gone ...

[clarkelane.livejournal.com]

I agree with you. I'm finding that I'm learning a lot about the shape of life and about the nature of loss. I hope you're doing a bit better today.

Re: Disbelief that a creative soul is gone ...

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

I am. Russ' great and good friend, Mish reached out to me here and gave me more information. I just wanted to make sense of it, if I could. There is no sense. Just sad to lose a virtual friend. Thanks.

HUGS!

Re: Disbelief that a creative soul is gone ...

[clarkelane.livejournal.com]

I read Mish's posting to you before replying this morning. It was reassuring, if still sad in it's own way.

Not sure that we can ever make sense of these things, but knowing some of the context does help.

[texwriterbear.livejournal.com]

HUGS

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Sean. Was Russ on your friends' list?

Hope your weekend has been a good one.

Big HUGS!

[labeartorycub.livejournal.com]

I just read your comments to your last post. I'm so sorry for your loss. Out of curiosity, I went to rock_bear's User Info to find out more about him, and was surprised to see that he was not much older than I. I too wonder what happened for someone to be so suddenly gone from our lives. My prayers and thoughts are with yours. HUGS

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

There is going to be an inquiry and his dear friend Mish has promised to let us know the findings. What has surprised me so much is that it really is a "loss", though we never met in person. Russ touched my life in very real ways and I will miss him.

Hugs to you, my friend ...

[designerotter.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry I never got to know him. Just reading his January posts it was easy to detect a wry wit - and it was touching to read that he recently got to experience a wonderful stage spectacle on a visit to London. As a fellow thesp, it made me happy to read about that. The final entry, the Moose song, I had to read and sing out loud (bewteen bouts of laughter). When I go, I'd like as he did, to make a stranger laugh with the kind of merriment that made him a blessing to himself and to those around him.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

You picked up immediately on what I liked the most in interacting with Russ on LJ. He made the most of his 43 years, but will be sorely missed.

HUGS!

wow

[tkn1114.livejournal.com]

Sorry to learn this. Aside from your blog, I saw him on [Bad username or site: holy13nation</i @ livejournal.com], one of the 2 "English" blogs I keep on my friends' list. From afar, he seemed a cool dude.

It's always a loss when you miss out on knowing a nice person there is or was in the world.

You know, there is something about connection via blogs that's very 21st century. I'm thinking about it... I remain old-fashioned in my definition of friendship, but blogs are not different than the international pen pals we used to have in the boy scouts back in the day. There was a bond. No logic. Just - a bond.

I sit with you.

Re: wow

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Thanh .... I am digesting your last words .. There was a bond. No logic. Just - a bond. This is nice ... I've struggled to put into words how the virtual friendship was meaningful. I think you've just done that for me.

HUGS!

Re: wow

[tkn1114.livejournal.com]

Irony of ironies is that while we pride ourselves to be individuals and should, the nagging truth is that people need people. And that's something that often ends up conflicting with an individualistic society, but much less with a collective one.

Fortune cookie #1001: "Whereas loneliness is the plight of an individualistic society, privacy is that of the collective one". Walk wisely the line and it shall lead you to happiness!

HUG.

PS: I'm going to hang on to that present to you and update on it all the different occasions that will take place between now and when I actually give it to you :-)

Re: wow

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Sounds good to me! More to enjoy! :)

As to #1001 .. I shall try to walk wisely, my friend!

HUGS!

[fingertrouble.livejournal.com]

He was a very lovely man, one which I wished I knew a lot better, and was only starting to know outside of LJ.

It's strange but everytime I look at my FL I get a little shock and sadness as I see his name, not ready to remove it just yet.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

I will keep Russ' name on my friends list indefinitely .. just as I have poohbearjim and handlebear. I never met Russ, but we shared a love of theatre and he was an active ingredient in my journal's pulse. Jim died this year and Cameron passed away over two years ago, but I keep them with me, on the list and in my heart. Welcome to my journal ....

[fingertrouble.livejournal.com]

I knew Jim as well, online only but he was the first person to welcome me to LJ, and I knew him from Bears Mailing List way back.

Sadly it took me ages to connect Ray's Jim to Poohbearjim, kind of lost contact somehow.

Last few months haven't been good for stuff like that.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Well, I thank you for reaching out to me. It seems we share an appreciation for good people. Most of my posts in the past two months have been friends only. If you feel inspired to do so ... and are comfortable in doing so... please feel free to "friend" me. I'll return the favor.

Take care ...