Paratrooper

[mrdreamjeans]

A young man joined the army and signed up with the paratroopers.

He went through the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to tell his father the news.

'So, did you jump?' asked the father.

'Well, let me tell you what happened,' the son said. 'We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane.'

'Is that when you jumped?' asked his father.

'Uh, no. The sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door.'

'Did you jump then?' asked his father

'I'm getting to that. Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt.'

'So, did you jump?'

'No. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six foot five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, 'Are you gonna jump or not?''

'I said, 'No sir, I'm too scared.' So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took out his you know what. I swear, dad, it was about ten inches long and big around as a baseball bat! He said, 'Either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking this little baby up your ass.''

'So, did you jump?' asked his father.

'Well, a little, at first.'

Comments

[kjuncwby.livejournal.com]

HA !!!!!

[geometrician.livejournal.com]

That gave me the best laugh I've had in a long, long time. YAH!

[mikeybill.livejournal.com]

I'm signing up...

[apparentparadox]

That was great!

[bismrkbear.livejournal.com]

Hate to admit that I have heard that before. However with the start of the retail season, I needed this laugh very much tonight. Now onto that paratrooper school... does he offer private lessons?

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

I had heard it before on Blue Collar Radio, told by Larry the Cable Guy ... Interesting that it works just as well reading it, as it does hearing it told. Still gets the laugh:)

You were strongly in my thoughts last Friday when I was in the ER again ... this time with my Dad suffering through a kidney stone attack. I also accompanied him to followup with his urologist yesterday. Have you recovered fully from your the kidney stone attack? How is George doing? I apologize if I've missed any updates.

HUGS!

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Glad to oblige! Have a good holiday and weekend at your folks house and please give Kent my best!

HUGS to both of you!

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

It probably wasn't that big a deal .. was probably AOL inches! HA!

[cimarrondfw.livejournal.com]

What a story! I did not anticipate the ending. Thanks for a bit of comic relief in a rushed week. Hugs!

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

That's what I like about the story ... you don't see the "ending" coming:) Hehehe

Have a happy holiday!

HUGS!

[designerotter.livejournal.com]

LOL ...entirely too funny! where did you get this ?! Isn't it amazing what a subtle use of phrasing can do? Even more, I kept hearing your voice in my head speaking the dialogue... LOL all over again. Thanks !

[scottokc.livejournal.com]

ROFL! Thanks for the laugh.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

A friend from Florida sent it to me, but I heard it first on Blue Collar Radio with Larry the Cable Guy telling it. I think it's funny reading or hearing it:)