Going Down in History - Favorite Clubs:)
Aug. 10th, 2004 02:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mrdreamjeansI'm just finishing up a fun chat with lowfatmuffin and I asked Bob how he met his friend Lance (althrman). According to Bob, they met in a landmark Seattle bar named Spags 13 years ago. Bob was singing karaoke; Lance was visiting. They've been great friends ever since.
I started to think back to what clubs have gone down in my memory as significant places. Were they because of friends I met in them? Was it because of the music? Was it because they represented a way of life that no longer exists? Or is it because I have changed so much, that they will remain my sample of that slice of life?
Bob maintains that some bars/clubs had significance because, "its the people in your life that made that place so wonderful". I respectfully have to disagree. I went to bars, not to drink, not to make friends, but as a way of trying to understand where I fit in.... as an anonymous way of studying the other men in the place... as a place for approbation... I wanted to learn... to discover what I brought to the table in terms of attractiveness and appeal....and to decide who and what I liked on the most basic of levels. I could never hide behind drugs or alcohol; I could lose myself in the music; but I always wanted to be responsible for my actions.
My coming out was a very slow process. I went to a very conservative university, Texas A&M; I had no frame of reference.... Gay or Lesbian family members, Gay or Lesbian Friends... I was just one of those guys in the ROTC, playing at the military, who realized one day that I spent an awful lot of time trying to meet other guys' eyes on campus. My first contact was with my Freshman English Professor who was married with three kids. (Yes - I got an A in the class, but I still vigorously defend it as deserved because of my writing:)
During my college years, you could still go to bars if you were over 18. The drinking laws in Texas didn't change to 21 until it didn't apply to me. I was 20 years old when I first went to a Gay club and it still exists today, albeit under a different name. I believe that bars have fallen out of favor in recent years as the primary place to meet "family"; but in the 1970s, they were my only source of contact with other Gay men.
There are three clubs that stick out in my mind. One is long gone; one is still alive and kicking under a different name and one retains its name, but has lost its charm.
The first one was called The Locker. It was on Westheimer in Houston and had its heyday in the 1970s.... I'd go there on a Sunday afternoon and there would be 150-200 guys having sex:) I loved to watch... learned a lot too.... I was really young... met my first boyfriend there... a red-headed marine who was really old...30!... I was 20:) Ah, those were the days....
The second club was the Brazos River Bottom in Houston. It's still kicking. In fact, that's where beararchitect (Fernando) and and I went dancing two weeks ago. It was significant because I learned to dance with another guy there; found out I was a good lead, found out that I could relax and be myself on the dance floor and found a niche with which I was comfortable. I dated a couple of guys from there, but I was very split between the sexually charged environment of the Locker and the fun and romance of the BRB. I kept searching for a happy medium.... and a happy medium in the men.....
My other choice would be the Timberline of the early to mid-90s.... It was so romantic, the dancing of such high quality, the ambiance unlike anywhere else I've been... It made me fall in love with Seattle. The BRB and Timberline stand out in my mind because in any other bar/club setting, if there wasn't music, I relished the role of loner... I could stand in a corner and observe. I soon learned that I had a strong presence to which other men would react and project their desires. I learned to keep my mouth shut in the leather levi bars; to never show warmth and personality and often the imminent sexscapade would be hot and memorable.
Luckily, I've moved way beyond that narrow view. In the past couple of decades, I've tried to let folks know me for my flawed, opinionated, curious, artistic, friendly, warm, compassionate, huggy self. I still struggle with bringing my romantic and sexual interests together in one person, but I've made progress and will do so till I get it right:)
I was a product of my times, but I've also learned to change and grow with the times. The role of bars in our culture has changed and their role in my life has changed. Being nostalgic for the experiences, for the wonderful and wicked sights I saw, isn't always bad, is it?
Right now, I'm going to go down my history lane of favorite clubs and remember them, and the people in them, and I'm going to smile and enjoy.
I started to think back to what clubs have gone down in my memory as significant places. Were they because of friends I met in them? Was it because of the music? Was it because they represented a way of life that no longer exists? Or is it because I have changed so much, that they will remain my sample of that slice of life?
Bob maintains that some bars/clubs had significance because, "its the people in your life that made that place so wonderful". I respectfully have to disagree. I went to bars, not to drink, not to make friends, but as a way of trying to understand where I fit in.... as an anonymous way of studying the other men in the place... as a place for approbation... I wanted to learn... to discover what I brought to the table in terms of attractiveness and appeal....and to decide who and what I liked on the most basic of levels. I could never hide behind drugs or alcohol; I could lose myself in the music; but I always wanted to be responsible for my actions.
My coming out was a very slow process. I went to a very conservative university, Texas A&M; I had no frame of reference.... Gay or Lesbian family members, Gay or Lesbian Friends... I was just one of those guys in the ROTC, playing at the military, who realized one day that I spent an awful lot of time trying to meet other guys' eyes on campus. My first contact was with my Freshman English Professor who was married with three kids. (Yes - I got an A in the class, but I still vigorously defend it as deserved because of my writing:)
During my college years, you could still go to bars if you were over 18. The drinking laws in Texas didn't change to 21 until it didn't apply to me. I was 20 years old when I first went to a Gay club and it still exists today, albeit under a different name. I believe that bars have fallen out of favor in recent years as the primary place to meet "family"; but in the 1970s, they were my only source of contact with other Gay men.
There are three clubs that stick out in my mind. One is long gone; one is still alive and kicking under a different name and one retains its name, but has lost its charm.
The first one was called The Locker. It was on Westheimer in Houston and had its heyday in the 1970s.... I'd go there on a Sunday afternoon and there would be 150-200 guys having sex:) I loved to watch... learned a lot too.... I was really young... met my first boyfriend there... a red-headed marine who was really old...30!... I was 20:) Ah, those were the days....
The second club was the Brazos River Bottom in Houston. It's still kicking. In fact, that's where beararchitect (Fernando) and and I went dancing two weeks ago. It was significant because I learned to dance with another guy there; found out I was a good lead, found out that I could relax and be myself on the dance floor and found a niche with which I was comfortable. I dated a couple of guys from there, but I was very split between the sexually charged environment of the Locker and the fun and romance of the BRB. I kept searching for a happy medium.... and a happy medium in the men.....
My other choice would be the Timberline of the early to mid-90s.... It was so romantic, the dancing of such high quality, the ambiance unlike anywhere else I've been... It made me fall in love with Seattle. The BRB and Timberline stand out in my mind because in any other bar/club setting, if there wasn't music, I relished the role of loner... I could stand in a corner and observe. I soon learned that I had a strong presence to which other men would react and project their desires. I learned to keep my mouth shut in the leather levi bars; to never show warmth and personality and often the imminent sexscapade would be hot and memorable.
Luckily, I've moved way beyond that narrow view. In the past couple of decades, I've tried to let folks know me for my flawed, opinionated, curious, artistic, friendly, warm, compassionate, huggy self. I still struggle with bringing my romantic and sexual interests together in one person, but I've made progress and will do so till I get it right:)
I was a product of my times, but I've also learned to change and grow with the times. The role of bars in our culture has changed and their role in my life has changed. Being nostalgic for the experiences, for the wonderful and wicked sights I saw, isn't always bad, is it?
Right now, I'm going to go down my history lane of favorite clubs and remember them, and the people in them, and I'm going to smile and enjoy.
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no subject
Date: 2004-08-10 03:50 pm (UTC)The first gay bar I went to in Houston when I was not out yet was Numbers #2 but I don't know if you would call it a gay bar. I think it was more of a club kid bar with unisex bathrooms and popper for sale over the counter. This was around 1986. I was going to Rich's around the same time to dance. I think I first step foot into a real gay bar in 1989 when I went to MMC for the first time. I moved to Dallas in 1990 and did not go to another bar while I was in my denial phase (I had not had sex at that point yet with another man) until 1996 when Eddie, a guy I met at EDS who later became my best friend and roommate, took me to JRs. I soon discovered TMC after that. TMC has to be one of my favorite bars but I am not as wild about it since they remodeled it into a dance club. I prefer The Eagle and Hidden Door these days.
Coming to Dallas anytime soon before you get back on the road touring?
no subject
Date: 2004-08-10 04:06 pm (UTC)I almost got your abbreviation wrong...thought you wrote MCC instead of MMC. At first, I thought how nice, he met men at church first....LOL
I'm not sure about Dallas visits prior to the tour, as I haven't even made it into Houston, but once, to see my friends there:) I'm going to Austin on Monday for two weeks to house and horse sit for my sister while she travels. I will be through Dallas with "Evita" sometime next year. (At least the preliminary intinerary seems to include it:)
BTW - Belated Happy Birthday!
no subject
Date: 2004-08-10 04:41 pm (UTC)It could be that both you and Bob are both right (“it's a floor wax AND a dessert topping!”). It sounds like when you were coming out, you had a strong attraction to the places you went, but not necessarily to the people there; whereas, later it might be that the people were more important. I hadn't thought about it in those terms, but that seems to be true for me.
When I came out in 1981 (right around my 21st birthday) in Phoenix, it was all about the places and the music. I didn't know anybody. I was challenged on my own misconceptions (I'd never considered that gay people would smile or laugh!) and it took awhile to find a place for myself in those venues. The Club Bath Chain certainly helped to explain a few things. LOL
One of the reasons I enjoy going to gay bars in New Orleans is because they remind me of the bars in the early 80s. It's a nice trip down memory lane. The difference is that in the early 80s I was 21 and could be a cute young thing; these days, I'm much more invisible in that type of crowd.
As I've grown older, I think much more in terms of the people. When I walk into the Lone Star in SF, I think of the folks I already know who might be there, and I like that a lot. These days I don't go to bars a whole lot anyway. You've never really been to Fremont, CA have you? You'd want to do something else, too.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-10 07:36 pm (UTC)Bars always amused me, since a great many of the denizens seemed to be a seeking to extend a popularity they had enjoyed in high school or college or seeking it for the first time. Unless I'm on the dance floor, I still tend to move quickly to a corner and observe. I also liked the directness of the cruise bar. A couple of scans of the bar and immediately you knew whether to stay or not. Much like the Club bath Chain, I imagine:)
You may find it hard to believe, but I never feel invisible in a bar full of young cute things; I'm just relieved that I never was one and was never attracked to that type of man:) Aging Peter Pans are never a pretty sight:) I'll just hit the dance floor or make sure I'm out with a group of mature hot men who appreciate each other.
We'll have to meet up when I'm in SF for a month with "Evita" if Houston doesn't work out. I'd like to get to know you!
no subject
Date: 2004-08-10 09:35 pm (UTC)I don't feel badly that I'm invisible in a barful of CYTs. It's simply a fact and I got over it long ago. Plus, my interests don't focus on CYTs anyway.
Going to the Club Baths when I was younger was quite an experience in the early 80s. The predominant lube sold there was Crisco; poppers were everywhere and I was deathly afraid of them before I developed my own little love affair with them; and there was actually a reel-to-reel tape playing music interspersed with the moans of men. Quite hot. I still get a tingle when I hear the Boystown Gang sing “Cruisin' the Streets.”
no subject
Date: 2004-08-11 12:41 pm (UTC)Glad to hear things have settled down more for you. Can't say that I think there are any good bars in the Twin Cities, but then I've never been fond of being either a piece of meat or being rejected because of my looks and you can't get to know another person in a bar.
I never had the experience like you did at The Locker. When my bar time arrived that scene was pretty much over already, and I think we are a little to Midwestern to get into that (mores the pitty)
I still have a wild streak that's begging to be fulfilled. Aw never too old right?
Don't get me started on .....
Date: 2004-08-11 09:08 pm (UTC)The coming out experience is full of bar stories from all angles. Its that “wonder” point where fear is no longer the motivating factor too …WOW….the man shopping club. Bars/clubs were the place for my generation to start as well. Depending on your location in the country it varied from nonexistent to OPEN for business. Even later in life it amazed me to find “dry” spots on the planet. I think bars/clubs help a person define themselves. It became the variety that one could count on as part of their education in the lifestyle. When I started going to the only bar in my college town, it was the people, but it was also the social side and education of that part of my life. It was the place you could be accepted. (So maybe Bob and you are both correct). You learn pretty quickly that a lifestyle is not always accepted, by the dead chickens thrown at the door. You learn not to park too near, or suffer the consequences. But that was the 70’s and now it’s the 21st century and the big question is….has it really changed?
The gay youth of today have many more options to appeal to them, but will they learn the same things we did. Are they able to better cope with socialization or is it just the generation gap showing?
Re: Don't get me started on .....
Date: 2004-08-20 12:04 pm (UTC)Re: Don't get me started on .....
Date: 2004-08-24 12:41 pm (UTC)