Flirting with Retirement

In April of last year, I declared I was retiring from active employment unless it was theater. Eleven months later, I am eating my words. It turns out, I wasn't in as nearly a safe position as I thought I could be; I suspected this early on; yet, moved ahead anyway and retired three/four years prior to eligibility for full benefits. Many friends, younger than me, have dropped dead in recent years and that underscored more than ever there are no guarantees as to when our time is up. I could collect 6 years of pension and four years of social security between 62 and 66. It made sense to me, with doubts about my health, to apply for them. (I don't talk about it publicly, but, I have a chronic health issue.) I've made my peace with that, but my plan has flaws.

Separately, it was a shock to my system to go from working 400 hours a month to zero. I've struggled with self-image, ego, living alone, with feelings of lost potential, lack of purpose and unfulfilled dreams. Yet, since 2016, I've overcome a three-year period of depression.

Due to diligence in terms of taking care of my health and meds compliance, the move back to Minnesota resulted in more accessible and affordable healthcare. Thanks to the sacrifices I made to save income when I was working 400 hours a month with Ross, I was able to purchase my home. I continue to do everything I can to contain costs and live frugally; but, my efforts haven't been enough. So, "retirement" has become "flirting with retirement".

I begin a part time job for my Statefarm agent on Monday. It won't add a lot of extra income; but, with the continuation of personal austere measures, I should continue to make progress. The reality is I may never be able to fully retire. As long as I'm healthy and able, I may make the choice to continue to work indefinitely. Since rules and regulations change as often as our governmental representatives, I may have no other choice. It remains to be seen. I applaud numerous friends who planned more wisely, saved more, who have compiled the discretionary income necessary to make their lives easier. My life has been an adventurous, often spontaneous, risk/reward high stakes journey. I retain this as a goal, as at heart I remain a nomad.

By working with State Farm, I'm gaining a work family again. I'm still in contact with my work families at Associa Minnesota and Dominium and I'm still on the payroll, but not scheduled to work, with Ross. I'm keeping my options open ... and adding to them as I go. This "flirting with retirement" may end up being a success in unpredictable ways.