Living Life Without Punctuation

In recent weeks, our tour has begun the natural process of people moving on. We’ve been out on the road for a bit over seven months, and though there's been an occasional week off, there is an evolution that happens. People get tired of being away from their spouses, live-ins or partners; some get other jobs; others leave because they aren’t suited for a life of constant travel from city-to-city or overseas; some leave because they aren't tempermentally suited to long runs, repeating the work over and over. As I’ve detailed previously, in the past month we lost Tony, Kevin, Brianna and Victoria and welcomed Matthew, Barry, Dena and Natalie. Dena and Natalie made their “Evita” Tour debuts tonight and did a terrific job.

There is a phenomenon happening with this company and the instigator, inspirator (if that’s a word:) is our Che, Bradley Dean. As each of our exiting actors has completed their final performance, Bradley stops the applause after the last company bow; he brings each of the actors forward and introduces them to the audience. He speaks of the person in glowing and genuine terms, telling the audience what they mean to us; he describes “living life without punctuation” for the audience and then asks them to join us in giving the particular actor that evening’s final bow. It is a breathtakingly generous act and one I’ve never seen in my 25 years of touring; Bradley is incredibly articulate and it is a graceful and loving goodbye.

Bradley’s speech has made me well-up with tears each time. The specific words that touch my heart are his use of the phrase “living life without punctuation”. As actors, we go from audition to audition, performance to performance, show to show. A show may end, but the search for the next job is never ending. A successful actor can spend decades on tour or traveling to a city for a regional gig. The years 1990 to 1999 are a blur for me. I spent those years away from home, 50 weeks a year in most cases, in tours of “Mame”, “Jesus Christ Superstar”, “Evita” (twice) and “Phantom of the Opera”; 2000-2004 were spent in regional productions in Houston and Seattle; and now, of course, I’m back on the road in “Evita”.

I’ve spent quiet moments in the past few days pondering the significance of “living life without punctuation”; asking what that phrase means to me? Does it apply to my life? Performing in a musical, singing in shows brings me much joy, but I’ve decided I do live large parts of my life with punctuation ... just not "periods". I hope to always live with question marks and exclamation points! I want to retain my curiosity, my desire to learn and grow; I want to experience the highs that come from great success; to experience lasting love as part of a couple; to retain a sense of hope and purpose and productivity in my life at home and on stage. Give me challenges! Give me a partner equal to challenges!

What I don’t want to experience is final punctuation. Period. End of story. At least let me have “dot, dot, dots”, a sense that my life continues and moves forward. Give me emoticons. Just don’t give me a “period”, denoting a finale to my career, new friendships or love. Don’t even begin to suggest that I ever will stop the music or the singing! A sense of continuity is why my friends and family mean so much to me and why I work so hard to stay present in everyone’s lives, though I may physically be elsewhere. It is why the new friends I’ve made on live journal are so important to my sense of belonging to a community that cares about sharing their lives through the written word.

We all use punctuation to shape the passages of our lives and our descriptions of it. Punctuation gives our lives a certain order and Bradley’s words are meant to convey to the audiences the transitory nature of our careers and describe a gypsy lifestyle. But I’ve decided, that for me, as an actor, “living life without punctuation” isn’t the reality. Instead, I choose punctuation that doesn’t limit. I believe in an expanding and expansive role in life. Given a choice, wouldn’t you??!?!?!?!?.......

Living Life Without Punctuation

In recent weeks, our tour has begun the natural process of people moving on. We’ve been out on the road for a bit over seven months, and though there's been an occasional week off, there is an evolution that happens. People get tired of being away from their spouses, live-ins or partners; some get other jobs; others leave because they aren’t suited for a life of constant travel from city-to-city or overseas; some leave because they aren't tempermentally suited to long runs, repeating the work over and over. As I’ve detailed previously, in the past month we lost Tony, Kevin, Brianna and Victoria and welcomed Matthew, Barry, Dena and Natalie. Dena and Natalie made their “Evita” Tour debuts tonight and did a terrific job.

There is a phenomenon happening with this company and the instigator, inspirator (if that’s a word:) is our Che, Bradley Dean. As each of our exiting actors has completed their final performance, Bradley stops the applause after the last company bow; he brings each of the actors forward and introduces them to the audience. He speaks of the person in glowing and genuine terms, telling the audience what they mean to us; he describes “living life without punctuation” for the audience and then asks them to join us in giving the particular actor that evening’s final bow. It is a breathtakingly generous act and one I’ve never seen in my 25 years of touring; Bradley is incredibly articulate and it is a graceful and loving goodbye.

Bradley’s speech has made me well-up with tears each time. The specific words that touch my heart are his use of the phrase “living life without punctuation”. As actors, we go from audition to audition, performance to performance, show to show. A show may end, but the search for the next job is never ending. A successful actor can spend decades on tour or traveling to a city for a regional gig. The years 1990 to 1999 are a blur for me. I spent those years away from home, 50 weeks a year in most cases, in tours of “Mame”, “Jesus Christ Superstar”, “Evita” (twice) and “Phantom of the Opera”; 2000-2004 were spent in regional productions in Houston and Seattle; and now, of course, I’m back on the road in “Evita”.

I’ve spent quiet moments in the past few days pondering the significance of “living life without punctuation”; asking what that phrase means to me? Does it apply to my life? Performing in a musical, singing in shows brings me much joy, but I’ve decided I do live large parts of my life with punctuation ... just not "periods". I hope to always live with question marks and exclamation points! I want to retain my curiosity, my desire to learn and grow; I want to experience the highs that come from great success; to experience lasting love as part of a couple; to retain a sense of hope and purpose and productivity in my life at home and on stage. Give me challenges! Give me a partner equal to challenges!

What I don’t want to experience is final punctuation. Period. End of story. At least let me have “dot, dot, dots”, a sense that my life continues and moves forward. Give me emoticons. Just don’t give me a “period”, denoting a finale to my career, new friendships or love. Don’t even begin to suggest that I ever will stop the music or the singing! A sense of continuity is why my friends and family mean so much to me and why I work so hard to stay present in everyone’s lives, though I may physically be elsewhere. It is why the new friends I’ve made on live journal are so important to my sense of belonging to a community that cares about sharing their lives through the written word.

We all use punctuation to shape the passages of our lives and our descriptions of it. Punctuation gives our lives a certain order and Bradley’s words are meant to convey to the audiences the transitory nature of our careers and describe a gypsy lifestyle. But I’ve decided, that for me, as an actor, “living life without punctuation” isn’t the reality. Instead, I choose punctuation that doesn’t limit. I believe in an expanding and expansive role in life. Given a choice, wouldn’t you??!?!?!?!?.......