The Middle Ages ...

[mrdreamjeans]

I want to slow time. There are days where my life is racing by and I feel claustrophobic from the speed of it. I’m irritated by its fleeting nature, feel pressured to fill each day with activities and accomplishments to make it really count. If I sleep, how much of my life am I wasting ... or missing? Will I get everything done that I’ve challenged myself to do? I’ve never wanted to live my life with regrets or to have a resume devoid of intense experiences, emotions and successes.

I joke about approaching middle age; but the reality is I’ve made it to middle age; if I double it, I’ll be one of the oldest living men on earth. I’ve simply got to have more time, more hours in a day. I blink, I sleep, I dream ... Days, months and years fly by in a kaleidoscope of flashing images. Perhaps, it’s the reason I so cherish my memories and friendships. The memories are so clear in my mind, they feel as if they happened yesterday ...and of course some of them have.

Friendships are reassuring signs that I’ve not passed through this life alone ... that someone cares ... that I’ve made a difference ... Someone has shared the experience; someone has loved me; someone loves me. I have sampled and savored life, been excited to be alive. I want to hold on to that joy.

I don’t want to place more importance on the past then the current, but the future seems to be rushing at me, pushing aside the past, insistent, distracting me from appreciating where I am today. It’s taken decades to finally figure out who I am and what I bring to the table, to appreciate the discovery. I need time, more time to savor, flow, reflect, grow .. Give me time! If you’ve got the secret to slowing time, please share it. It’s a short life and I want more! The Dark Ages and The Middle Ages don't have to be synonymous.

Comments

[bearhedded.livejournal.com]

There are days where my life is racing by and I feel claustrophobic from the speed of it.

Well, that's what time does.....I compare it to the whirlpool at the tub's drain. The closer you get, the faster you go, then, ploop!

[tbone1961.livejournal.com]

How many times we've heard "life is too short". I reflect upon the wake I brought my two oldest to last week or so. A young 24yr old, recently engaged. "You just never know!"

I read your post and reflect upon things on this end. My oldest turned 16 and ready to drive, my second son will be entering junior high next year. Where did those years go indeed?

Then I zero on more recently. It'll be four years this coming May I moved out of the house to begin again. And oh so many lessons I've learned since then. "I've not passed through this life alone". I'm SO thankful I got the notion out of my head that I could do this coming out thing alone.

But ya know, Neil. You've taken care of so many others along the way. And touched a whole many lives. Be it in person, be it in a role on stage. You done good my friend!!!

HUGZ

[cimarrondfw.livejournal.com]

Your post today, my beloved friend Neil, and mine make an odd pair, don't they? Make the most of each moment. I thank God that one of the things that passed down our mutual path is getting to know one another. Glory in the moment. Don't fret over what might be.

Changing the pace of time...

[notdefined.livejournal.com]

is not ours to do. I think that our perceptions and desires it what gives us the impression it moves so quickly. When we come to the realization that there are fewer years ahead of us than behind us, then all of a sudden we lose track of all that we have accomplished and only focus on what is left undone. It is difficult to express our emotions in song, painting, writing or whatever form we choose if we refuse to just stop.........
We no longer take a moment to listen to the sounds of the earth because we feel it is wasting time, but I say, wasting what time? If we cannot pause to enjoy what was created then how on earth can we express it to others in whatever form we choose. My friend, embrace the world around you like you would a lover, drink in the wonderment and then share your joy. It isn't necessary to do everything yourself, choose those paths that will let you move at a reasonable pace and no, it did not add nor imply 'for your age'. Yes, there is always much left to do, but if we cannot accomplish it in this lifetime, then we just lay the ground work for those who come behind us, that is what happened to us and is the natural order of things. It is frightening sometimes to realize where we are in the chronology that is our life, but you know, I am enjoying being 57 and oddly enough, forward to 60. Sure, I may only have 20 or 30 years left, but in that time I can express many of the things that I was far too busy to do as a youth. Hop out of the fast lane and just live. Hugs.

[bardcat.livejournal.com]

i very much identify with your reflection. i will be sixty in april and time is marching on too swiftly.

Middle Age

[njsimca.livejournal.com]

Amen to that! I think I'm WELL into middle age, considering I don't play on living to be 96. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just bet it's pretty painful every morning! Don't you worry, babe, just try to enjoy every day, and believe that you added something nice to someone elses day! xxx ooo Matty

[perkk.livejournal.com]

Ritual can give solace. Time to reflect, to ease a persistence of memory. Maybe it's time to start your memoirs? A way to collect and organize so many good memories.

wanna a facial?

[tkn1114.livejournal.com]

facials are very good for you when you're in this sort of mood, honey. It is very necessary to suddenly feel fab again. And facials can do just that for you!

[greggjim.livejournal.com]

When I turned 50 last summer it wasn't the best time of my life. I seemed to be aware of all of the above. It is a short life and you won't get more of it. But, truly, boo-friggin'-hoo, pass the vodka and get over it. Not your average mantra but I think it helps.

[beartech420.livejournal.com]

"once your over the hill, life goes faster"

what really sucks is that you get all these things done in your life where you got things together, have a small understanding of things around you and wham, you body starts to fall apart! it just doesn't feel fair, on top of that you try to tell younger men your mistakes and they don't listen so your experiences arn't even useful to help others.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Ploop it is, then! :)

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Jim! You've done a good job too! These past four years have been full of discovery ... of love, of hope, of new friendships ... all of which will sustain you through the challenges of daily life. Our lives are never an unbroken upward spiral, more of a roller coaster and isn't it good to know that there are others who care about you who are along for the ride. HUGS!

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Just had one of those days when I was feeling like I had to accomplish more .. more ..more of everything and I was tired of doing it alone. I'm fine today. I agree that it's been a blessing to get to know each other. HUGS!

Re: Changing the pace of time...

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

You've given me much to ponder, to savor ... it's not age that makes me feel this way ... I had my hell-raising time and am glad to be on the backside of that time. I will take time to reflect, to embrace the world around me, to appreciate the finer things in life. I sometimes forget I can't change the natural order of things through sheer determination, strength of will:) Thansk for the reminder and the wise words. HUGS!

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Are you an early April Aries? I am always surprised at how many follks of which I'm truly fond, share my astrological sign. I'm not a fanatic about it, just interested in the subject.

Re: Middle Age

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Ah ...but you're a younger man to me:) I'll do my best to take your advice!

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

My journal is a way of visiting my memories. I keep saying I'm going to organize the journal into a book. It just might be time.

It's so funny ... the way you've phrased these sentences ... I can so clearly hear you saying the words to me in your distinctive manner of speaking ... and a clear example of how you organize your thoughts. It makes me feel like you're nearer ... and that's nice!

Re: wanna a facial?

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Facials are refreshing! I've only had one ... in Seattle by a Japanese woman. It rocked! :) I'm out of yesterday's mood. HUGS!

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

I'll try your mantra ... I've got three years on you, so I get to wallow five minutes longer:) HUGS!

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

It is funny how no one wants to listen when you can draw on your experiences, positive and negative, to help them avoid pitfalls.

My body's holding up, but just barely:) It will be greatly improved once my spirit recovers from last year's blows. I'm gradually reclaiming my life, but it's hard some days not to feel that I've missed something important because I took most of a year to focus on my Dad's health.

Perhaps, it's just a lingering effect and will ease away as things get back to normal ... Thanks for your insight ...

[perkk.livejournal.com]

You're so sweet! Thank you.