mrdreamjeans | Corona-Coaster of Emotions (Reply)

In recent days, I’ve been reading numerous stories about the mental health ramifications of the Covid-19 pandemic more than the economic consequences. Daily, I take my emotional pulse: What are my reactions to contentious issues in the media? How I am feeling when someone disagrees with me? Do I react appropriately or am I filled with rage? If it’s anger, how do I diffuse it? How do I maintain or regain control of my senses? Do I keep my ego in check? I’ve realized, I am on a Corona-Coaster of emotions!

On “good” days, I remind myself I am only responsible for my choices. If someone else’s behavior bothers me, it’s not for me to criticize or judge. It’s simply up to me to stay away from those offenders ... to stay at home, to wear a mask, to wash my hands, to make the choice to be compliant to best practices. I believe in science.

My bottom line is I wear a mask right now to protect others on the chance I’m asymptomatic and unaware; but, I also wear a mask and practice physical distancing to decrease my chances of catching Covid-19. I’m in a high risk group, living and working in a building where everyone is 62-92 years old. I am particularly enraged by those who have politicized the virus. I sit in judgement on those who think older people are expendable.

On my “bad” days I feel isolated, attacked and at times jealous of those who seemingly suffer no consequences for their choices, who go about their lives acting immune to the pandemic and make noncompliance a political statement. I tell myself the virus attacks everyone, doesn’t see Republican or Democrat; but I can tell you compliance clearly does break down among party lines. My biggest issue is you can’t fix stupid.

We’ve all suffered during this pandemic. But, none of what we’ve experienced is close to what Americans suffered through during World Wars I and II. We comfortably sit at home with our cell phones, the internet, online ordering. We can work from home, meet in groups by Skyping or Zoom. We’re definitely not cut off from everyone else socially. Does anyone else read someone on social media say, “I can’t take this any longer” and roll their eyes? Imagine not seeing or hearing from a loved one for years because he/she was off fighting for our freedom. Yet, we’ve become accustomed to and shrug off the statistic of 100,000 dead Americans from the coronavirus.

I don’t consider our lives in the past three months lives of sacrifice, but lives of inconvenience. What Americans don’t like is being told what to do, breezily complaining about rights being taken away. Well, guess what. Demanding your rights, without acknowledging your responsibilities, isn’t freedom, it’s adolescence!

What’s next? You won’t put your child in a car seat? (Infringement of rights? Screw safety!) You won’t wear a seat belt? (Infringement of rights?)You won’t get vaccinations for your child? Don’t care about anyone else’s children catching a preventable disease?) Don’t care what happens to anyone else as long as it doesn’t negatively impact you personally? Eliminate driver’s licenses, insurance, voting? Put guns in everyone’s hands? The cynicism and selfishness of many Americans makes me despair. I am so very tired of this shit.

Like it or not, I understand I’m a functioning member of an imperfect society and I’ll continue to be a law-abiding citizen. I will continue to care about the well-being of others. I will continue to believe in social justice. I will continue to abhor corruption, brutality and fraud. I will continue to support the media. I will continue to believe in America’s institutions, to be proud of our veterans and believe there are good cops. I will continue to vote because it’s my most important right. I will continue to believe in Democracy as flawed as it is. I will continue to look forward to the day when I can step off a slowing Corona-Coaster of Emotions safely and be rid of the disorienting side affects of the ride. I will continue to dream of a better world for you, for me, for those I love.