Code of Conduct

[mrdreamjeans]

Yesterday in a novel , I encountered a list which outlined four statements that lead to wisdom. I realized the list aligned with an informal Code of Conduct I have for myself. The Code of Conduct stems from conversations I had with my father as a child. For instance, he told me never to be ashamed to cry. It's a sign of strength, not weakness, to feel things deeply. He's also told me to never be ashamed to show affection to others. It too is a sign of strength.

The Four Statements that lead to wisdom are:

I don’t know.

I need help.

I was wrong.

I’m sorry.

​There have been several occasions in my life when these four statements have been mistaken for ignorance or weakness; but, I've persevered in perceiving them as strength, as openness to learning and as minimizing my considerable ego. I often seek others' thoughts and opinions when I'm pondering an issue and coming to a decision. At times, that approach to decision-making has been misunderstood. I prefer consensus-building to making unilateral decisions.

The one statement I struggle with is second on the list, "I need help." I have a hard time admitting I can't solve an issue/crisis on my own. Most of my friends are willing to help if I reach out; instead, I often isolate or hibernate when I'm struggling, feeling it's better to go it alone than with support from friends or family. In contrast, if someone says to me, Neil, I need help, I'm all over it, absolutely willing to assist.

I've been isolating for the past two weeks, mostly reading; when that happens, I become hyper-introspective as is the case with this post. However, because of the deep dive into the world of fiction, I have happily been reminded of four statements that lead to wisdom and of my father's words that inspired a personal code of conduct. For that, I am grateful.

2020 Books Read:
A Murderous Triangle - Sally Goldenbaum - 300 pages - P -
Dachshund Through the Snow - David Rosenfelt - 342 pages - P
Scarlet Fever - Rita Mae Brown - 272 pages - P
Twisted Twenty Six - Janet Evanovich - 450 pages (large print) - P
A Minute to Midnight - David Baldacci - 415 pages - P
To the Land of Long Lost Friends - Alexander McCall Smith - 224 pages - P
Race to the Sun - Rebecca Roanhorse - 298 pages - L
The Great Reckoning - Louise Penny - 386 pages - L
Kingdom of the Blind - Louise Penny - 386 pages - L

P = Purchase
L = Library
G = Gift